Ayanda Borotho on validation: ‘Let go of the idea that being liked is power’

09 September 2021 - 10:15
By Chrizelda Kekana
Ayanda Borotho talks about external validation vs internal validation.
Image: Instagram/Ayanda Borotho Ayanda Borotho talks about external validation vs internal validation.

Actress and author Ayanda Borotho has cautioned her followers on the dangers of living life on public praise, saying when one depends on external validation for contentment, it usually ends in tears.

Taking to her Instagram, the former Isibaya actress hoped to push the message that being liked by other people doesn't hold the power that the age of social media seems to suggest.

“Understand this ... if you're going to live this life pursuing validation through public praises, rest assured you will break at their slightest criticism. Let go of the idea that pleasing people makes you fit in. Let go of the idea that being liked is power.”

Ayanda advised her followers to get into the habit of shutting down the “desire” to want to fit in or to be validated by people who shouldn't matter to them. She urged them to stay in control of their identities instead of relinquishing that all-too-important power to other people.

“Normalise that belonging to yourself far surpasses fitting into a crowd. Normalise that the greatest validation of self is you liking yourself first. When our state of being is controlled by people's opinions of us, we give them power to control how we show up. Listen ... No-one and nothing can break you when you own you. Walk in truth. Live in truth. Speak your truth. Be your truth,” she wrote.

In one of her posts earlier this year, the actress documented a day of her journey of “Unbecoming to Become”, just as the title of her book suggests.

Ayanda shared her opinion on contentment.

She explained that if you are stuck in darkness, people around you will meet you in such a dark and low place. However, if you are in the light, people will be able to see the light in you that shines bright, making them meet the best version of you.

“Here's the thing ... people can only meet you as far and as deeply as they've met themselves. If I'm stuck in darkness, I'll meet you with darkness. If I'm in light, I'll meet you in your light. How I choose to receive you depends a lot on where I am.

“I can't be to you what I'm not to self ... just like you can't be to me what you aren't already to yourself ..." Ayanda wrote.