Mshoza: If I had R500 but no electricity, I'd buy alcohol & drink in the dark
Mshoza didn't realise just how dependent she was on alcohol until her ex-husband limited her access to it and it dawned on her that she had turned to alcohol in her depression to avoid dealing with the real problems.
This is what Mshoza told our sister publication TshisaLIVE after she tweeted about how the bottle became one of her best friends for a while. It was all triggered by the death of a close friend.
"Ugh I don't even know how it all began...all I know is that after (Lebo Mathosa) passed on then I started drinking quite heavily. More that just the occasional glass. I started being reckless about my life and not caring about what happens tomorrow.
"And before I knew it, I had to have tons of alcohol in my house and lots of people, all the time. I didn't want to be alone. I think at some point, I had over 12 people staying with me in my house and we would drink all the time," Mshoza said.
The Kortes hitmaker hopes that sharing her history will let other people, particularly celebs, know that it's okay to have the conversation so that one can heal. Mhoza said following Zahara's recent revelation about her own battles with the bottle to "find happiness", she felt it important to also let her know that she's not alone.
Mshoza said things got really bad in her case and even though her previous marriages weren't rosy, her ex-husbands opened her eyes to her alcohol problems.
"It got so bad... to a point where I would have R500 and no electricity and I would choose to buy alcohol with that money and drink in the dark rather than be 'stressed' the whole day.
"I would wake up and only think of alcohol. My day wouldn't seem exciting until there was a plan in place that involved drinking alcohol. Honestly, I only realised what was happening after I got married to Jacob, because he was strict and would ask me, 'why are you just drinking randomly?' He made me realise that I had not dealt with a lot of things - like Lebo's death and many other things - and told me to confront that instead of always drinking," Mshoza said.
Fast-forward to 2019, Mshoza says the most important lesson she took from that time in her life was that a situation only gets worse for you when your friends aren't real with you, something she hopes people don't have to learn the hard way.