'I'm holding on with broken hands' - Simz on the grief of losing Dumi
It's been three months since actress‚ Simphiwe Ngema's husband‚ Dumi Masilela was killed in an attempted hijacking and the widow is still trying to pick up the pieces of her life while battling trauma‚ grief and denial.
Simz took to social media on Friday morning to share her grief with followers‚ explaining that the last three months have been filled with intense emotions.
"It's been three months since I lost my husband. Three months of sleepless nights‚ trauma‚ anxiety attacks‚ crying uncontrollably‚ anger‚ excruciating pain‚ loneliness‚ denial‚ bargaining and a lot of unanswered questions that leave me paralysed with fear‚" she wrote.
She said that some days felt like she was not getting better‚ and that she has decided to take it one moment at a time.
"Some days feel like I haven't moved or feel like it's not getting better. I've just learnt to take it one breathe at a time. I don't know what tomorrow holds‚ I still don't know what God's plan is and the thought of a future without 'our future' still makes me anxious‚ all I can do is trust God. He is all I know. I am holding onto him with broken hands but still holding on nonetheless‚" she added.
Simz has often used her social media pages to open up about her struggles after Dumi's death on August 3‚ once sharing that all she wanted for her birthday was to hear Dumi say she was gold‚ because she was burning with grief.
The pair celebrated their traditional wedding several months ago.
Dumi‚ who played the role of Sifiso Ngema on e.tv's Rhythm City‚ had been visiting a friend in Tembisa when a black Jeep approached their vehicle. They tried to flee but the Jeep gave chase and the occupants opened fire. He later died in hospital.