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All are equal in dating game

By Zenoyise Madikwa | Jul 12, 2010 | COMMENTS [ 0 ]

IT'S EVERY single guy's dream to attract a hot girl, but most guys find it hard to pluck up the courage to ask out someone like that.

They worry they'll be shot down by a girl who is totally above their level, says relationship expert Alan Grand. He notes that there is no such thing as a "league".

"When it comes to dating, you need to realise this if you truly want to be liberated in the game of seduction. Many times, you see an ordinary guy with a gorgeous girl and you think, how did he do it and why is she with him?"

Grand says a league does not exist when it comes to the game of attraction. There is only attraction.

"Now, if you have noticed this girl in the office or in your neighbourhood, and she is gorgeous, do not think she is above your league.

"If you have that attitude, then you are bound to fail. What you need to do is to go in with a positive light. A mistake that most men make is that they do not study the girl they are interested in."

So, are you eyeing a woman whom you think is out of your league? Sowetan has collected tips for you from various sources and experts.

Wear a wedding band. You read right. That is what advises:

lLet her think you're married. You don't have to tell her you're married, unless she asks. Just don't keep that hand hidden from view and she'll notice.

Women go crazy for married men. It doesn't matter what he looks like either.

Something about wanting what they can't have . or what his wife thinks she can't have. It's part of that inborn cat fighting instinct. There's nothing like a wedding ring on a guy's finger to put a kitty into heat in a cold snap, notes the website.

lAct gay. Have you noticed how women throw themselves at these guys? The better way to give this advice might actually be to "act like 3Sum".

Buy the brightest, loudest clothes in the thrift shop, throw on some make-up, and act friendly and happy and wholly disinterested. You do that and she'll be on your lap before you know it, trying to seduce you .

Girls say they like gay guys because they're safe, but that's not it. They like them for the same reason that men like women out of their league. For the thrill of the conquest, observes the website.

l Don't swoon too soon. Pretend that you've not noticed how wonderful they are. They'll work harder if they don't think you are impressed.

"High league" people want you to appreciate their less obvious qualities too.

lHigh league people rarely get chatted up as everyone is scared to approach them. Go and say hello. They'll admire you for your courage and positive attitude.

lAlways be the best "you" possibly can. If you make sure you always wear your best clothes and look well-groomed you'll instantly become more confident and up your social standing. Confidence is sexy and stands out a mile.

l Show her you're a gutsy guy. Because most men are intimidated by overwhelming looks. The competition for beautiful women is much smaller than you might think. The reason many unassuming guys are with knockouts is simple: they were the only ones who took the risk.

"Two of the main traits beautiful women are attracted to in men are power and self-confidence," says Warren Farrell, author of The Myth of Male Power and an expert on man-woman relations.

"If a man is intimidated by a woman's looks she assumes he's going to be intimidated by the world in general."

A guy who takes a risk, however, exudes power by overcoming the initial desire to run when he comes face-to-face with stunning beauty.

l But don't ignore her looks.

A lot of men believe you should never let a woman know you think she's beautiful because it puts you in a "vulnerable" position.

Gorgeous women know they are beautiful and they know you know it. If you try too hard to play it cool, they simply see you for what you are: a phony.

But while you don't want to mask your attraction, neither do you want to express it in a manner that fails to distinguish you from the scores of other guys who compliment her.

Farrell advises men to instead focus on the quieter aspects of her loveliness.

"Beautiful women are suspicious of the grand compliment. Tell her you like the way she wrinkles her nose when she smiles or the way she tilts her head when she talks to you, Farrell says.

"Notice things that only women notice. Things such as how well her scarf matches her eyes and you'll impress her with your sensitivity and powers of observation."


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