I AM not sure if there is a psychological name for my ailment. I love to hate soapies and I hate to love soapies.

I AM not sure if there is a psychological name for my ailment. I love to hate soapies and I hate to love soapies.

Don't crack your skull trying to figure this one out, I don't get it either. You could also call me a player because when it comes to my relationship with soapies, I display all the attributes of a dog except loyalty.

Once a particular scene has been resolved, I discard that soapie and move on to another one. If the next soapie does not have an explosive scene, I find another one. So you can see that these love affairs with soapies are intense but last for as long as the fragrance of cheap perfume.

But I am a good lover because I always go back and rekindle the passion, sometimes!

This week, it is my love affair with daily soapie Generations that is nearing the end of the road. I, like many South Africans, have been glued to my screen, with my mouth watering in anticipation of the Generations "gay scene" explosion.

If you are feeling left out, don't despair. I will spill the beans for you. Sibusiso Dhlomo (aka Menzi Ngubane) has just found out that his beloved son, Senzo, is gay. Correction, he didn't just find out. It was more like walking into a fire and being consumed.

As he burst into the room expecting to find his macho son chilling in his room, he walked in on a passionate, intimate embrace - that left very little to the imagination - between Senzo and his "housemate" Jason.

This, dear reader, unleashed a ferocious hurricane. Sibusiso clobbered the two with a sjambok and no amount of screaming and begging from his beautiful Ntombi could pacify him. He was devastated, angry and hurt.

This anguish made him lose perspective and all clarity of thought. As he beat them to a pulp and hurled abuse at them, he left the viewer in no doubt that finding out his son was gay was a calamity, the end of the world.

The bond between father and son has been destroyed and Sibusiso would rather lose him than have a homosexual for a son.

The hatred in Sibusiso's eyes is enough to make your stomach churn. In his world, a man loving another man and being intimate with him is revolting.

This situation may be pure fiction but it is a microcosm of the world in which we live. Sibusiso is unapologetically a homophobe and has set ideas on the role of men and women.

I have heard a lot of straight people who claim not to be homophobic but confess that having gay children would be devastating to them.

A bit like white people who say "I am not racist, some of my friends are black . but". What follows is an incredibly racist statement that leaves one in no doubt that the speaker's only reference of a black person is his gardener or domestic worker.

But I must confess, I too would prefer to have straight children because I would be terrified. Call it self-preservation.

I do not have the guts to carry a child in my womb, nurture them and love them violently, only to watch them being judged, mocked, bullied and sometimes beaten because of their sexual orientation.

The situation, I think, is even worse if you are a lesbian because some of this aversion to gay people has manifested itself in violent crimes, including murder being committed against them.

It is not the homosexuality itself that would make me toss and turn at night but the overwhelming fear that my child would be scarred by the prevalent prejudice in our society. Life is so much easier when you are straight. Call me selfish but I do want an easy life.

Generations has done a splendid job of highlighting an issue that has divided many families and caused such heartache and pain in the wider society.

There is always a need for self-reflection. I may not like what you do but can I make room for you to be who you want to be?