Tue Oct 25 10:34:58 SAST 2016

Signs of a love break-up

By unknown | Jan 18, 2010 | COMMENTS [ 0 ]

ONE day you are all lovey-dovey. You're whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears, French-kissing and sitting on each other's laps watching a Bafana match.

ONE day you are all lovey-dovey. You're whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears, French-kissing and sitting on each other's laps watching a Bafana match.

Then, out of nowhere, your partner sits you down for the "It's not you, I'm the one who has a problem" talk. Does this ring a bell?

Yes, the honeymoon phase of drama free, fun and very, very good sex is over. Is your relationship flashing warning signs?

Angelo Bright, a relationship expert, says breaking up is never easy.

" A break-up does not only break your ego, but crushes your heart. But if you could just see the break-up coming, it might make the whole business easier on your health," Bright says.

Here are the signs that your relationship is about to hit the skids - from www.keen.com.

The website used psychologists, body-language experts, graphologists, investigators and a divorce attorney. And here's what they found:

Is it romantic Armageddon, or just uncomfortable shoes?

Where the toes point, the heart follows. According to the body language experts, you should look at your sweetie's feet when you are out with other people. They say if they are pointed at you, great. But if they're pointed at someone else, your partner might be looking to walk.

You're starting to feel like a telemarketer.

Is your sweetie anxious to end phone conversations right away?

A person who knows he's going to end the relationship with you, but hasn't done so yet, will be itching to get off the phone with you.

If he is talking to you but not adding anything to the conversation, it's a sign he is heading towards the finish line. He's probably just pacing himself.

He's no longer interested in sex, or worse.

A dramatic change in sexual behavior can mean two things:

l He wants to avoid any situation where he might have to express emotion or attachment to you, or

l He's getting it somewhere else.

He avoids talking about the future.

This is not just referring to the general, garden variety aversion that men have to discussing relationships.

This is about a man who avoids having one of those "we have to talk" talks like it's a demon.

As for the future, when next Thursday seems like too much of a commitment, it could be because he's trying to extricate himself by Wednesday night.

He says, "I need some space" or "I think we should see other people".

People don't usually want to hurt someone else, so they use "exit strategies".

By telling you he wants to see other people he's not technically breaking up with you (so no big crying scene to endure) but he's given himself a way out.

Of course, the second he gets a little distance he's going to make a run for it.

If he's looking left, something's not right.

According to a private investigator the website interviewed, a person who looks up into the air and to the left when he speaks to you is "not being truthful".

The look left is an indication we're using the "creative" side of our brains and a good indicator he's telling you a lie.

He gives you that little pat on the back.

Watch out for this one. A person who gives you a hug while patting you on the back is indicating that they are uneasy.

According to the investigator, the "hand pat" on the back indicates someone is uncomfortable with what they're doing. The bigger the pat, the more discomfort they feel.

You don't like what you see in the mirror.

People mirror each other's body language when they are in love with similar gestures, voice volume and so on.

If you're noticing the two of you are out of sync, you probably are.

You see the writing on the wall

According to a graphologist they interviewed, a person who is thinking of ending a relationship will show clues in his handwriting.

When writing the word "love" he might begin to drop down the letter "e".

Another sign to watch for is if your partner diminishes the size of your name (sign of your importance to him).

Every normal person should know which way the toilet paper goes ...

If he's picking silly fights, or there's an unusual increase in emotional distance, you've got bad news.

An attorney specialising in divorce interviewed by the website says that "a person who picks nonsensical arguments is trying to get the other person (you) to make the first move".

He keeps you waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

"Time is an important non-verbal communicator," says the attorney. If he keeps you waiting, it's a sign his interest is waning, and a sign of disrespect.

This is true for dates as well. If he starts waiting until the very last minute to make date plans with you, it's likely he's lost interest, or he's hoping something better will come along and he's using you as a back-up.

He used to be a China Town kind of guy, and suddenly he's obsessed with Armani.

A person who is about to leave (or is cheating) will take greater care with his appearance - updating his wardrobe, losing weight, working out and even changing cologne.

Want to know when you're most likely to get dumped?

Most experts agree it's somewhere in the neighborhood of the first three to five months. So, stock up on tissues if you're heading into the danger zone.


Login OR Join up TO COMMENT