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Best to keep way out of a playa's path

By unknown | Nov 02, 2009 | COMMENTS [ 0 ]

WE'VE all been there when a guy has the whiff of doggy dog about him and screams Bad Boy, yet it's clear that not only can some women not read the signs but they don't do anything with the knowledge if they can.

WE'VE all been there when a guy has the whiff of doggy dog about him and screams Bad Boy, yet it's clear that not only can some women not read the signs but they don't do anything with the knowledge if they can.

Here are some tips to keep you out of a player's path or to get you to wise up to the one in your life.

l He plays big a lot. Men are quite egotistical but men who have Those Who Doth Protest Too Much Syndrome and keep telling you how "nice" they are and how different from their friends scream player.

Men who elevate themselves on to a perch where they can look down at other guys and say how great they are have mastered the art of being a player. They use real-life examples to illustrate the harm you could come to if you were with some of the other guys they know to distract you from what they are doing.

l When his phone rings or beeps with a text message he races for it. If he is shady about taking or receiving calls, ask yourself what is he trying to hide.

Does he always take calls in another room when you're there? Does he look shifty when the phone rings? Would he have a fit if you answered the phone? Does he look nervous if you ask to use it? Is he taking calls late at night?

l He disappears for periods with little or no explanation. I once had an ex tell me he was going out for an hour and returned 13 hours later. He was promptly dumped.

l He's very routine. If your man is just anal retentive, skip over this one, but in general when guys are inflexible about their time and seem to slot you into the gaps, it's a clear indicator of the possible existence of another woman in his life.

It's one thing if his routine includes a lot of you but if the routine is his way of explaining why he can't see as much of you even when you have been together a long time, this man does not want to let go of his "freedom".

l He comes around late. A man that consistently turns up at your place late at night does not mean you any good. This is often a trait of men who are also habitually routine with their time. Ask this guy to come around earlier and see how he struggles.

l He always calls late or at a certain time. This guy is juggling women or just treating you like a booty call.

If you are a booty call, fine, but if he's your boyfriend it should let the alarm bells ring.

l He flirts with other women but tells you that he's just being nice and friendly. He's not, he's flirting.

Also keep an eye on someone who consistently flirts with waitresses and shop assistants. Obviously if you're a woman that gets jealous when he so much as looks in the direction of the female species I would skip over this point .

l He tells lies about small things. If you catch him out on a lie about something small, feel nervous about the big things he might be lying about.

l He mentions sexual stuff though you barely know him. I always hear alarm bells when I get approached by a guy and he manages to slip in something sexual, something far too familiar early into the conversation.

Men who are focused on getting a peek at your privates rather than getting to know you are Player Playas. They don't mean you any good!

l When you talk to him in a public place, are his eyes wandering to other women as they walk by? This is a clear sign of disrespect ,but if it's a consistent habit, it's a sign of a guy that's not interested in playing one on one.

l He hangs out with lots of players. Beware of men that don't have even one friend among their crew that they can "look up to". If your man has lots of friends that are shaggers, baby fathers with baby mama drama, men who abuse, trust me when I say that he's not learning very much that will do you any good.

Men who consistently hang out with men who are open about their negative relationship behaviour do so because they can elevate their status and think they are better with women than they are.

If they hang out with guys with good relationship habits they will see things they will have to face up to.

l He has several children by several women.

There is nothing wrong with going out with a man that has a child, but I would pay close attention to any man who has clocked up several children by several different women. It not only screams irresponsible and drama, it screams player big time.

l The exes keep showing up or calling. This man has a lot of loose ends he clearly hasn't dealt with or might not want to deal with because he enjoys the attention.

Also be wary of mystery women who show up or call. They can't all be women that have a silly crush on him that he hasn't encouraged.

l He tells you he's a player. One thing that alarms me about women is that even in the face of hearing cold hard facts from a man, they can receive the information and continue with the relationship. When a man tells you that he's a player, it's because he is.

l He uses a lot of lines on you. I don't think there are many men out there who haven't managed to pick up some social messages about picking up women, but there are still some men who rely on talking complete doo doo and showering a woman with lines - players.

This is the charm-and-disarm you mechanism. Next thing you know you've got your knickers down and you've been hooked by a player.

l His friends and family tell or give you a hint that he's a player. These are your social references. If a previous employer of yours who knows you and your work ethic tells your next employer you weren't suitable, would you expect them to hire you?

l Your friends and family think he's a player. Often our friends and family are able to spot unsuitable partners, but we fail to recognise it and only really listen after we've broken up with him.

l He flirts with your friends and family. If he can't even behave around your nearest and dearest, he has serious player issues.

l He hasn't introduced you to his friends and family. If you've been together for more than three to six months, it is particularly odd if you haven't met his friends. What is he hiding? Or who?

l He does not call or show up when he says he will. This shows a blatant disrespect for you and your time. When it's occasional you can let it go, but when it happens consistently, I would question what is preoccupying his time.

l He lavishes you with gifts to make up for the things he has done wrong. I'm not averse to women receiving gifts from men, but be careful when he thinks that he can always buy his way out of his wrong doings. -


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