Sat Sep 23 02:26:04 SAST 2017

Guilt at infidelity is causing your health problems

By unknown | 2009-06-08 00:00:00.0

I HAVE always been inspired and motivated by your advice. It has kept me knowledgeable and educated about the HIV-Aids epidemic.

I HAVE always been inspired and motivated by your advice. It has kept me knowledgeable and educated about the HIV-Aids epidemic.

I never thought it would happen to me, but here is my story. I am 36, got married two years ago and have a son of two.

Since getting married, all I have experienced are arguments and fights. Every time this happens, my wife goes to her parents. We have serious financial problems. I am employed, but she isn't. The last time she left, it was for a very long stay. One day, after a few drinks, I had a one-night stand.

After a few weeks I developed HIV symptoms such as weight loss, swollen neck/lymph glands, extreme fatigue, diarrhoea, frequent flatulence, terrible itching around the anus and a feeling of not being well.

A month later, I took an HIV test. The results were negative. I was told to go back after three months. I tested negative again.

But I am always sick and have to take many days off work . Most days I was not able to wake up .

The doctors said that I am suffering from stress, but if it was stress, it would have disappeared by now.

As a result of my absenteeis m, my supervisor referred me to a psychologist. I told him the whole story. He recommended I take an HIV Combi test. It was negative. The last doctor advised me to take other tests for sexually transmitted illnesses . All came back negative.

The worst part is that I am beginning to see changes in my wife's health and it appears she has symptoms similar to mine.

I am living in fear.

Please help me. I don't think I can go on living like this.

Yours In Trouble, Pretoria

Hooooo boy, are you stressed out as a result of the guilt you are carrying over your infidelity!

Instead of running to more doctors, see a psychologist or professional counsellor to deal with your guilt and other issues.

Stress, especially extreme stress, causes all sorts of illnesses and ailments. Accept what you have been told and seek help where it is needed - in your mind and in your soul.

If you are a religious person, you might also want to speak to a religious counsellor.

It is possible your wife is showing similar symptoms because she is also stressed about your situation. It is also a good idea to think about coming clean with your wife. Admitting your infidelity might relieve a whole lot of the pressure that is building up in your brain, and in your being.

I do hope you have learned your lesson. Infidelity does not pay in any way.