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Minister of Cooperative Governance and Traditional Affairs Des Van Rooyen. Picture Credit: Gallo Images
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So much better to live together separately

By unknown | May 18, 2009 | COMMENTS [ 0 ]

In the book Sushi For Beginners by Marrianne Keyes a couple known as Mai and Jack start off with such alarming steam that the girl bites her boyfriend's finger in frustration.

In the book Sushi For Beginners by Marrianne Keyes a couple known as Mai and Jack start off with such alarming steam that the girl bites her boyfriend's finger in frustration.

Of course he soon forgets about the blood that made him an office spectacle and finds himself engulfed in her nectar once again.

Theirs is presented as a stormy yet passionate affair and then the fights continue.

It is marred by spats alright, but judging by everyone's obsessive interest in their business it seems to carry much potential.

So keen are people in this melodramatic affair that others skip lunch just to experience coming mortal combat episodes first hand.

One man-eater hovers over this chagrin with the hope that when it finally comes to and end she will be the first to pounce on him.

But after months and months of kissing, better and passionate love making, damage control, it eventually comes to an end. Much to the anticlimax of the once very enchanted audience.

Jack and Mai are but one couple in a sea of confusion. Many, many couples are fighting for peace. A total irony.

But relationships froth with unexplainable spats that send them drinking and calling Life Line. But when confidantes listen carefully to what is being said at the core of the complaints, they find nothing there.

My friend Thuli almost hyperventilates as she relates their weekly gun battles. ". and then, it was Thursday, no Wednesday, no Thursday, anyway, I can't remember very well, but he rocked up with a new phone and all I was thinking was ."

Even that kind of elongation tells of a woman dying to fight and justifying it later. At least she doesn't throw things and insults him for forgetting his lunch box at work like my other friend Nelly.

She is no elephant, but gives a fresh meaning to the word abuse. All of her previous men tell a tale of sleeping with Cruella Deville.

Meanwhile, guys will just listen and be totally miffed with the kind of energy exerted on the scowls and finger pointing and of course the blabbering.

What is it with women? No wonder we have a growing number of guys who now call their own reaction to the situation self-defence.

Hey you only have one face. And as the police scan the affidavit with hidden glee and prejudice, they often just ignore how a woman may have been pushed to the ground.

It's not as if women are totally running amok for no reason. Hormones are largely to blame for this.

There's a study claiming that women go through fourteen days a month of hormonal upheaval. This gets worse a few days before a period (PMS) and worst in most cases of early pregnancy. That kind of insanity is soon perpetrated by menopause, another mood-peddling phenomenon that can last up to five years.

It's a hormonal thing. We are not crazy. We just have to take our medicine that's all.

And then there's that element of space. As much as we want to be joined at the hip, it's unrealistic to think that kind of close rubbing can not lead to more frequent combustion. Think of Thuli and her obsession with the days Wednesday or Thursday and then only realising it much later that it really doesn't matter.

We tend to be finicky when there isn't much room to breathe. And yet, living together and marriage seem to be the only society approved ways to show commitment.

Yes, if you are raising kids, but before then I think it's best to operate like Oprah and Stedman. Have your own separate lives in which you can go through the elements and meet later to kiss it better. Otherwise it's time bomb just waiting for PMS and claustrophobia to strike.


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