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Minister of Cooperative Governance and Traditional Affairs Des Van Rooyen. Picture Credit: Gallo Images
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I love him but can't stand his spoilt brats

By unknown | Sep 01, 2008 | COMMENTS [ 0 ]

I am 32 and I fell in love about six months ago. My man is handsome, kind, generous and sexy. He is very good to me and I want to marry him.

The only problem is his children from his first marriage. The boy is 10 and the girl is 8. They are spoilt brats. I can't stand them.

They stay with us every second weekend and it is a nightmare. I have knots in my stomach from lunch on Friday because of the little monsters. They have no manners, are lazy and demanding. They treat me like a domestic worker and expect me to do everything for them. I spend the weekend putting away clothes, picking up stuff, making beds, cooking, washing dishes, and so on.

My man helps me, but that makes me even more angry because he does not encourage them to do anything and does it for them. He says they are children and should have fun, not do chores. What a load of nonsense.

When I try to talk to him, or with the kids, they all make out as though I am a tyrant. The kids once complained to their mom and she called and told me I have no right to "order" her kids around. I really love him, but I am afraid the kids are going to destroy what we have.

What can I do?

Frustrated, Johannesburg

Sister, stop this situation right now. This weekend.

Tell him you want to talk to him and tell him everything that is on your mind. Tell him the problem must be sorted out before he loses you. Tell him that you don't ever want to come before his children, but that you want the same consideration that he gives to them. Tell him that chores are healthy for them and encourage a sense of responsibility. Tell him you are not a slave. Tell him that doing chores does not kill anyone, but that doing everything is killing you.

Then tell him to tell the children that different rules apply in this home. They are expected to clean up after themselves or they won't be visiting again.

He must tell them that they must learn to respect you and your ways or they will not be welcome.

He must also make it clear to his ex-wife that you are now the woman in his life. She must respect that if her children come to stay, they do so with your rules. If he can't do this, then when it is his weekend with the children, he can rent a place and run around the brats himself. If what you share is precious, he will listen to you.


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