Sat Oct 22 10:52:57 SAST 2016

A man's woman, that's me

By unknown | Jul 28, 2008 | COMMENTS [ 0 ]

They call it karma, the energy of reaction that gives you three times more of what you dish out. Just as it had to work on me like it does to everyone, it's come tumbling down on me - in the form of lesbians. I said my former lovers were dress wearers and I was thrown the lesbian card.

There I was minding my own business, trying to kill time before seeing my shrink and before I knew it there was an exceptionally friendly face. A wiser woman would have wondered why a PJ Powers lookalike would take a sudden interest in her? But not Amanda. She just assumed the white woman must have had a maid who looked just like her. You know how white people always say we look alike. And besides, I have Brandy's face. I have Toni Braxton's face and I have . a common face. Yes, that's it.

So the white woman wormed her way to my table. I sensed trouble the minute she showed her gold teeth and started talking about her dead parents. Dezi said she would have liked to have had kids, but London took her heart and she only came back to bury her beloved parents. All was fair until Dezi took my work telephone number. The minute she figured I was a free spirit, she started harassing the living lights out of me. I had to look her straight in the eye when talking to her. She also just about screened all my in-coming calls. Men's voices were a big hell no. My own uncle had to go through her first. I was also warned about the township Arabs who would leave me high and dry if I allowed them too. All this in one afternoon. Phew, and I thought men were hard to live with.

As the gods were on my side, something must have happened to Dezi because in about a week or so, she gave up on another lunch with me. I doubt if she didn't die because soon she gave way to another lesbian lonely heart. This one was worse. She was there to have me for life. But the technique left much to be desired or rather nothing to be desired. Why would you want anything else after kicking a semi- psychotic woman who wants you dead or alive?

She was thoroughly soft at first, admiring my earrings like only a woman in love would. But me, having forgotten this magnet for prospective women lovers, had forgotten about her kind. I noticed that Zelda was standing closer and closer to me. Shame I felt sorry for her. She was dealing with a shameless straight woman and on top of that she was black and suspicious. In the end, like Dezi, Zelda decided she was going to dog me until I gave in. I love men.

Yet I have always been accused of playing for the other side. Like why would I? I find nothing wrong with women flirting with other women. I mean women are beautiful creatures. I also turn and look at gorgeous women, but that doesn't mean I'm into them. The last thing I need is a relentless soul who thinks I'm going to give up all of this for .for what exactly?

So when my man came clean about being harassed by a male friend of mine, I took great offence. A man who is with a woman and fathered a child, running after a man who has a woman. What is it with some people? I know fish tastes better when you've caught it, but does that mean that the fish will be eaten while it's kicking and screaming? Where's the pride?

Except for a few deranged high school girls who think they have the figures to persuade even Nathaniel, the boere muso/entertainer/whatever, I don't see straight people trying to initiate homosexuals. They say there's a homosexual inside every straight person, but wouldn't it prove their case better if they let these so- called on the DL people fall off the closet on their own?


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