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Auntie Emma's lowdown about these blackouts

By unknown | Jan 22, 2008 | COMMENTS [ 0 ]

Everything runs on Eskom time now. People rush home so that they can cook and eat before the dreaded load shedding starts.

Everything runs on Eskom time now. People rush home so that they can cook and eat before the dreaded load shedding starts.

Members of our taxi commute told me they can tell the time accurately when the electricity goes off and for how long.

Auntie Emma, who knows these things, having lived for a long time, says Eskom is in a conspiracy with the SABC.

She says load shedding starts as soon as Generations ends in her neck of the woods. She read somewhere that the soapie is the flagship of the SABC and that the TV station has an agreement with Eskom to delay the blackouts until everyone had heard about Karabo's latest misery trip.

She also says that Eskom allows us to see the news, so that we do not forget who our leaders are. Once the news parade of politicians and skelms stops, the lights go out.

I was greatly impressed by this view of the blackouts and asked the other members in the taxi if they agreed with Auntie Emma.

Pinkie, our Model C representative, says The Biggest Loser is the winner in her area. It seems the SABC and Eskom think Tshwanenites need to see all those mountains of blubber melting down.

I wonder why Eskom thinks The Biggest Loser is a must-see there. I mean, apart from broken furniture, I do not think overweight Tshwanenites are responsible for the blackouts.

It could be that their fridges are overstocked or something.

I remember Radio Bantu announcer Sello Phiri, who is from Tshwane, once said that at Christmas time people use big rocks to close their fridges.

I was very young then and thought it was a joke. Now I wonder.

Auntie Emma also raised the dark spectre of over-population. She said the earlier people went to bed, the higher the number of babies born.

She said South Africans did not have many hobbies and the few there are, like movies, needed electricity. So people will fall back on the only entertainment that is cheap and does not really need the light at all.

These babies will be born in the new age of darkness. They will think electricity is a figment of their parents' imaginations or that it is part of a fairy tale.

They will wonder why they have to read about Thomas Edison and the light bulb when such a thing does not exist. The children of darkness will add to the number of people Eskom has to light up and this will perpetuate the load shedding.

A new member of the crew, Thandi, was dismayed at this news. She accused us of being doomsayers and pessimists.

She said we must look at blackouts as an opportunity to be innovative and find new ways of doing things. Thandi said we could advance scientific discoveries if we stopped complaining and started doing.

Auntie Emma shut her down by saying black people would not be able to make babies that glow in the dark so their mothers could change their nappies.

l Book Reviews will be published tomorrow.


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