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Straight talk or just walk?

By unknown | Oct 22, 2007 | COMMENTS [ 0 ]

Being a whistle blower has to be the worst situation that any person can find themselves in, especially when it concerns your best friend's love life.

No true friend wants to hurt or see their friend hurt. True friends always have each other's best interest at heart, but sometimes the best is just the opposite of what your friend wants.

For instance, you walk into a restaurant and bump into your best friend's man. He gives you an uncertain smile and you think, did I do something wrong?

As you politely hug each other, some hoochy mama suddenly appears and confidently says, "Baby can we go now?"

You are jolted, and at the same time disgusted.

The question is - do you tell your best friend about it or keep quiet, and let your guilty conscience feast on you?

Sowetan posed this tricky and dangerous question to 10 women.

Six out of the 10 said they would tell their friend, to save them from an unhealthy relationship. Three said they would not, while one said it would depend on the strength of the friendship.

Pumeza Ngobozana learned the hard way. She told her cousin and ended up as the enemy when the couple reconciled. "My cousin's man was cheating on her. I found out about it and broke the news to her in a gentle way. They fought about it for a while and eventually reconciled.

"After sweet talking each other, my cousin stopped talking to me. We are on speaking terms now, but things are not the same. I was only trying to help and I turned out to be the bad person," Ngobozana said.

Madi Bhengu said she understands where Ngobozana is coming from.

"I was in the same situation when I told my childhood friend that her man was cheating on her. I turned out to be the jealous person, who was out to destroy her blissful relationship. Even today we are sworn enemies. God knows what lies that man blinded her with?" Bhengu asked.

Another woman who believes whistle-blowing always backfires, said she would not tell her friend that her man was cheating on her.

"She might just accuse me of trying to steal her man or of being jealous because she had found happiness. The reaction is usually unpredictable when it comes to couples and it does not matter how well you know your friend.

"As the saying goes,'what you don't know won't hurt you' rings true when it comes to relationships."

But for those who live by "friendship conquers all, even love", telling was the noble thing to do.

Nokuthula Cele said it's terrible being the bearer of bad news, but you will save your friend much anguish later. A true best friend would always tell the truth, is Cele's motto.

Seipati Morumo said true friends don't have secrets, especially ones that would put their lives at risk. "Find a way of saying it in a way that you don't come across as jealous, but as concerned."


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