The new public protector says she will leave the dispute over the state capture report prepared by h.
It is an undeniable fact that the moral fibre of our society is getting thinner, more especially in family values. But it is totally unacceptable when a brother poaches his brother's woman, and it's even more disgusting when fathers hit on their sons' girlfriends.
In some cases, brothers even bad-mouth their siblings to get their girlfriends. Some would even go to the extent of saying things like: "What do you see in my brother? He is a loser who does not deserve a beautiful woman like you."
Some even reveal embarrassing private information about their brothers' health or financial status. Fathers sometimes also use their financial muscle to lure their sons' girlfriends. What's wrong with our men?
It is all about the male ego wanting to test virility, manhood and attractiveness, says Gwen Flanagan, a Johannesburg psychoanalyst.
Flanagan says the problem is that a lot of men, more especially those in their 40s, are in denial about their ageing, and hitting on younger women and competing with their sons give them thrills.
"The centuries-old male roles of protector, provider and procreator no longer instil pride and excitement in men. She says the latter-day man has seen it all, so he gets a thrill from fishing in dangerous waters. This does not only give him thrills but it also pumps his ego. The latter-day man now seeks an ego-boost in things like successfully poaching someone else's woman.
In reality, even the most conservative man has a wide idea about sex. In the present society, men are still considered the dominant figures.
"Even with the emancipation of women, men are still in the forefront of every development in ideas, politics, economics and all other areas of knowledge. Given these facts, a man's ego is really upon the pedestal," Flanagan says.
Nomusa Ngobese, a family therapist at the Family and Marriage Association of South Africa (Famsa), agrees with Flanagan. She says sex is an important player that distinguishes a man's ego within the circle of his peers.
She says though male ego is not all about sex, sometimes sex is all a man has to fall back on because he has no other outlets for his expression of power - besides anger.
Ngobese says men thrive on stepping on dangerous ground to validate their macho image, though the male ego is not a macho image.
"A male ego is vulnerable. It is fuelled on affirmation. A male ego knows no boundaries. Men would do anything, regardless of the risks or costs, to feed their muscularity. Knowing that they can have whatever they want excites their egos." Ngobese says sex for men and women also means two different things.
A male needs sexual release. This is just plain raw sex, and he doesn't care where it comes from. He also needs to know that he has what it takes to make women want him. This confirms his self-image of being attractive, desirable, powerful and able to satisfy the woman's sexual needs.
Does a woman run to her man to report advances made to her by his brother or father? "Most choose to keep it a secret, fearing the consequences," says Ngobese. "But in the end, they fall victim either way because blood is thicker than water.
"When they reveal family members' ways, they are vilified by the family, and when they don't, and the spouse finally finds out about the advances, they blame the spouse for keeping it a secret. It's a Catch-22 situation."