I am a confused married man with three lovely kids. I love my wife and she loves me too.
My problem is that I feel as if I am gay. I want to have sex with a man. I want to experience that kind of sex. I need your advice, please.
Keeping a secretJohannesburg
Before you do anything I would suggest you speak to your wife about this. Yes, it will be difficult and it will be very painful for her to hear that you desire someone else, but the only way to go is with honesty.
It will be less painful to have an honest discussion than it will be for her to one day perhaps find out you cheated on her. It will be hard enough to accept the cheating, never mind that it might happen with another man.
It is only fair that you make your wife aware of your desires, and let her know that you want to explore a sexual experience with another man.
Remember that you will be putting her at risk if you do have sex outside of your marriage and return to the bedroom with an STD.
If you are not able to share this kind of honesty with your wife but are determined to explore this side of your being, then I advise you to do so with the utmost discretion, and with caution. Be very careful of STDs, and be careful of people who are homophobic and might lure you into a sexual experience only to mug you or beat you up for being different.
Have you spoken to a therapist, priest, friend or member of the family about this?
Have you tried to confide your confusion to someone and get help about this?
If not, why not try that route before you leap between the sheets and dishonour your marriage vows?