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Why men don't want to marry

By unknown | May 24, 2007 | COMMENTS [ 0 ]

Zenoyise Madikwa

Zenoyise Madikwa

Though some people feel it is the woman's responsibility to drag a reluctant partner down the aisle, others feel the problem lies with the male of the species.

Zama Ngcobo, a TV and radio personality, told Sowetan that a lot of men are not married because they are scared of the responsibility that comes with marriage.

"Men and women view marriage very differently. To women, marriage means a future, security, family, status, love, closeness and many other good things. To men, marriage means loss of freedom, more responsibility, loss of choice, expense and stress.

"Ideally, a marriage should be a 50-50 partnership in which each partner contributes and shares equally" said Ngcobo.

Skwatta Camp's Relo Tsotetsi said a lot of black men do not commit because they feel threatened by independent and powerful women. Some men like the idea of women worshiping them for money.

"By their nature, men have very fragile egos. A lot of men would rather stay single than have a woman who has financial muscle that matches their own" said Tsotetsi.

Babalwa Mneno, a model, said marriage was a decision that shouldn't be taken lightly.

"Each person is an individual. There is no law that says that people should be married at such and such an age.

"People should get married when they are ready and only when they want to," said Mneno.

Here are 10 tips for getting your man to commit by George Weinberg, from his book, Why Men Won't Commit.

lMake it easy for him to confide in you by listening without giving advice or criticising;

lMake your man feel special by showing him that you love him for himself alone;

lTry to be natural. Be yourself and don't conceal your tastes or the things you like;

lGive your man the sense that he can keep his freedom - at least to some degree;

lDon't let him do too much for you or spend too much, (even if he volunteers).

lDon't make your man jealous as a device to build his interest in you;

lInsist on sexual fidelity once you feel you need it;

lHelp your man to accept the fact that he needs you and loves you;

lAfter a few months, insist that your man introduce you to his family and friends, and to anyone else who's important in his life;

lGuard against giving your man more than you really want to over a long period of time.


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