Sun Oct 23 16:19:57 CAT 2016
Plea for a 72-hour break from Fees Must Fall

Open letter to South Africa’s students‚ universities and government‚ represented by Minister in the .

Don't choke on forbidden fruit

By unknown | Feb 26, 2007 | COMMENTS [ 0 ]

Amanda Ngudle

Amanda Ngudle

When Eve reached for the forbidden fruit, she must have weighed her options but still given in to her desire.

Just like the things that wise men warn against, forbidden love is too dangerous, yet too enticing.

Though most people are aware of the dire consequences of these verboten alliances, they are drawn to that which they shouldn't touch. One reason for this is the thrill of tasting the forbidden and another is intense curiosity.

"The mind is forever debating whether things are as good or as bad as they are made out to be," says psychologist Eve Minaar- McKenzie. "And this is the reason why there is so much of a link between the people known as the black sheep and their high level intelligence quotient.

"People of a higher IQ often find themselves in these forbidden relationships because their minds get the better of them."

Forms of forbidden love most of us have seen include younger man-older women affairs, hanky-panky with the boss' wife, older man-younger girl flings, office romances and sex with the girl next-door.

With so many alliances banned, is it possible that the banners are mad? Most people don't think so, and this includes relationship therapist Zukisa Mateza.

"Think of relationships as a highway in a developed province. Without the law and traffic maintenance measures the cars would run havoc. Now think of the cars as people.

"Without boundaries in relationships you could have a society riddled with incest, population mismanagement and abuse of human rights. This is the reason people have a conscience so strong that, if given a hearing, most disasters can be avoided."

The people who are against listening to the heart as well as the head are those who thrive on wrong doing, and they agree that it is the banality of a normal relationship that sees people plunge into forbidden affairs.

Student, Nandipha Mwelase, said: "There is no known remedy for relationships.

"The most suitable couples crumble in the long run and sometimes what can start out as a sexual affair may blossom into marriage. So who has the right to say such and such an affair should be abolished?

"If society deems it wrong and you know it will yield heartbreak, there's no way of working around it.

"If you have a relationship with your boss and you are keeping it a secret, it is a secret because of the implications for you and your boss. That's one way of looking at it," said Mateza.

"The other way is to remove yourself from the situation and ask yourself if you would be objective had you been watching it from up close."


Login OR Join up TO COMMENT