A brilliant idea has just crossed my mind: I am going to start a football club and call it Batswana.
Archbishop Desmond Tutu christened us "the Rainbow Nation", and my venture will further enhance the good bishop's rainbowism.
Surely if AmaZulu can do it and nobody raises an eyebrow, I can never be blamed for tribalism.
I, like you, hate tribalism. It is a curse worse than racism because it is borne of self-hatred. You tend to be real nasty to other blacks and call them names such as lechangane, leVenda, leqhotsa, lekwerekwere, legrigamba, but shout to the high heavens about the evils of racism.
I'll never forget my experience at a chisa nyama outlet in Evaton, where a bunch of fellow braaiers exchanged stories about their experiences at the hands of their white racist bosses.
As the meat cooked, two fellows who obviously hailed from the north arrived at the fire to braai their fare. You could tell they were not locals from the shouting colours of their floral shirts and and overly fancy haircuts. One even wore red shoes that looked like toy cars.
They - the northeners - almost genuflected when they greeted us. They wore permanent grins on their faces and you had to be really evil to dislike them.
When their meat was done, the colourful brothers bade us goodbye and left.
As soon as they were out of hearing shot, one of the fellows who had been whingeing about racism blurted out: "Ntho tsena ke machangane. Sies!" - These things are Shangaans.
Wow. This did not make sense. The machangane were spotlessly clean and well-mannered. The rapscallion had yesterday's spinach between his yellowing teeth and the smell of his takkies overwhelmed even the meat on the coals.
Yet he had the chutzpah to gooi "sies". It should have been the other way round.
I was angered, but not surprised, because if truth be told, our people continue to use words like maboesman and makula, but call them kaffirs and you'll see something .
As for me, I hate both racism and tribalism. But still, look out for Batswana United Football Club.