In another twist involving the public protector’s office‚ the Minister of Co-operative Governance an.
It's that time of year again when everyone bids everybody good tidings when they actually don't really mean it.
Well, I genuinely wish to put a festive smile on your face by sharing some of my correspondence.
The first missive aptly came from Simon Nare, a colleague whose claim to fame so far is being a joint holder of a beer-tasting title. This feat saw him and his cronies, Madala Thepa and Raitlhwa Moalusi, win an all-expenses paid trip to a beer festival in the Czech Republic last year.
"To whoever has been spreading rumours about me.
"Somebody is trying to cause alarm and despondency by spreading a very dangerous rumour about me. I have it on very good authority that someone is telling people that I have stopped drinking. Imagine, me of all people!
"I therefore would like to categorically state that at no point did I ever attempted to stop drinking, contemplated the idea, let alone even dreamt about it!
"I would like to believe that whoever started this unfortunate rumour did not look beyond the social implications of their mischief, for this is more political than they can imagine.
"Dear friends, let's not force poverty into our homes. This is my little contribution towards this country's economic turnaround effort, yet someone is bent on sabotaging me.
Young nerdy Namhla Tshisela, my other colleague, on seeing Nare's note, decided to send him this gem:
"It has been scientifically proven that if we drink one litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have consumed more than one kilo of Escherichia coli bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming one kilo of poop.
"However, we do not run the risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, vodka, beer or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.
"It is better to drink wine and talk sh*t than to drink water and be full of sh*t."
Another one, also from Namhla, about the law in South Africa.
"Two recent court cases, have earned the attention of newspaper readers in South Africa:
l One person was fined R1 000 for not having a TV licence.
l Another was released on bail of R500 after being arrested for murder.
"The moral of this South African story: If you do not have a TV licence and the inspector comes round, kill him. You'll save R500."
Finally, from a recent edition of Gulf Today, a United Arab Emirates daily, is this letter from a reader, Agnelo:
"The Eid season is nearing its end but not for my friend, Anil. Anil and his wife went into a shop at a mall which invited customers to buy one pair of trousers and get three free."
"Anil went for it.
"Saddled with four pairs in his hands, Anil walked home with mixed emotions. He was happy he got the pair of his choice and three more for free, but sad that it will be a long time before he goes on another trouser shopping binge."