Open letter to South Africa’s students‚ universities and government‚ represented by Minister in the .
I have been dating a woman, long distance, for about 10 months. She lives in Durban and I am in Johannesburg.
Everything was rosy in the beginning but within a few weeks she became very clingy and demanding and started whining about moving to Gauteng to be with me. And it hasn't stopped.
She calls me at least 10 times a day and calls the switchboard at my office or one of my friends if she can't reach me on my cellphone. She questions me about my whereabouts and behaviour, and when she gets the chance she questions my colleagues, friends and family.
I can't take it. The sound of her voice makes me want to puke and the thought of seeing her over Christmas - she's supposed to stay with me for 10 days - makes me want to leave the country.
I've ended the relationship twice over the telephone but each time she has threatened to kill herself and I give in.
I don't want to see her over Christmas, or ever again, but I am scared she is going to do herself in if I tell her it really is over forever.
Sounds like you have one very troubled sister on your hands who needs the tough love approach in order for your break-up message to stick.
What you have to do is break up with her now and be very, very, very clear that it is over for good and that you do not want to talk to her ever again.
Tell her she is welcome to descend into whatever kind of manipulative behaviour she chooses. Tell her that you refuse to take responsibility or feel guilty for her troubled and emotionally abusive behaviour.
Threatening suicide is manipulative and you must cut ties with her for good to ensure that she does not try to take advantage of your sympathetic side. Do not answer her calls or SMSes.
Do not agree to see her to "discuss" anything. And tell your friends and colleagues she is manipulative and that you want their help to get her out of your life. They, too, must refuse to take her calls or answer her messages.