As much as we are all tired of the Gupta shenanigans, I think it is also time to spoof the names and the catch phrases that have kept us intrigued since reports of state capture snowballed into the greatest scandal that has rocked the ANC.
And what better way to do this than a take on how the various names can be used to create a whole new language explaining the nefarious activities of the world of cheating since their own infamy rightly comes from another form of hoodwinking and swindling us.
We all know how Des van Rooyen's weekend affair at the Treasury ended before even his business cards could be ordered and inspired many memes on social media.
Now we know what doing the Des van Rooyen on anyone means. It is a part of the street lexicon.
Corruption Watch endorses probe into KMPG’s alleged involvement in Gupta-related business dealingsCorruption Watch says it strongly endorses the investigation by the Independent Regulatory Board for Auditors into allegations of improper conduct of auditing firm KPMG‚ in particular its 2014 audit of Linkway Trading‚ the company alleged to be involved in the related Free State dairy and Gupta wedding scandals.
To the clueless, the Des van Rooyen is the hit and run that many cheating lovers are known for. It is the worst form of deceit from the casanova that makes a one-night stand look honourable.
After all, it takes a bit of guts for a man to make a run for it in the morning, but with the Des van Rooyen the deception is meaner as it requires elaborate planning of the whole weekend only for the skelm to kiss you on the forehead at the end of the sojourn, promising to call you back, and disappear from the face of the earth quicker than you can say Des van Rooyen.
A Waterkloof landing is a brazen invasion of the person any couple is cheating on.
It's the classic tale of a man hiding in the closet from a furious gun-totting husband who was tipped off that wifey dearest has been letting someone else have a taste of the forbidden fruit.
Even R Kelly wrote a famous song Contagious, featuring the Isley Brothers about this well-known scenario where the cheating loverboy is caught with his pants down in a married couple's bedroom with the wife, just like the Guptas did when they had the audacity to land their plane on our national key point.
The cheek of it!
A Gupta to any blessee who believes staunchly in the girlfriend allowance is a lover who knows the drill and takes care of all your needs to keep you happy, and the affair going.
This is the premium class of a blesser as having your own Gupta means that all your first-class needs are catered for.
Saxonworld shebeen is the secret meeting place where Mr and Mrs Jones meet up regularly for passionate sex.
It is a secret oasis, often a motel or hotel the cheats have turned into their safe bubble out of sight of their unsuspecting spouses.
And cheating will not be made possible if lovers did not have a Duduzane, as in Duduzane Zuma - fixer who makes things happen.
For every cheating pair of lovers there are a few enablers who make the illicit affair thrive.
They either introduced the lovers to each other or still facilitate social events and organise love nests for them where the cheats can enjoy their debauchery unhindered.
OPINION: They have captured our land, can we all speak Gupta?
As much as we are all tired of the Gupta shenanigans, I think it is also time to spoof the names and the catch phrases that have kept us intrigued since reports of state capture snowballed into the greatest scandal that has rocked the ANC.
And what better way to do this than a take on how the various names can be used to create a whole new language explaining the nefarious activities of the world of cheating since their own infamy rightly comes from another form of hoodwinking and swindling us.
We all know how Des van Rooyen's weekend affair at the Treasury ended before even his business cards could be ordered and inspired many memes on social media.
Now we know what doing the Des van Rooyen on anyone means. It is a part of the street lexicon.
To the clueless, the Des van Rooyen is the hit and run that many cheating lovers are known for. It is the worst form of deceit from the casanova that makes a one-night stand look honourable.
After all, it takes a bit of guts for a man to make a run for it in the morning, but with the Des van Rooyen the deception is meaner as it requires elaborate planning of the whole weekend only for the skelm to kiss you on the forehead at the end of the sojourn, promising to call you back, and disappear from the face of the earth quicker than you can say Des van Rooyen.
A Waterkloof landing is a brazen invasion of the person any couple is cheating on.
It's the classic tale of a man hiding in the closet from a furious gun-totting husband who was tipped off that wifey dearest has been letting someone else have a taste of the forbidden fruit.
Even R Kelly wrote a famous song Contagious, featuring the Isley Brothers about this well-known scenario where the cheating loverboy is caught with his pants down in a married couple's bedroom with the wife, just like the Guptas did when they had the audacity to land their plane on our national key point.
The cheek of it!
A Gupta to any blessee who believes staunchly in the girlfriend allowance is a lover who knows the drill and takes care of all your needs to keep you happy, and the affair going.
This is the premium class of a blesser as having your own Gupta means that all your first-class needs are catered for.
Saxonworld shebeen is the secret meeting place where Mr and Mrs Jones meet up regularly for passionate sex.
It is a secret oasis, often a motel or hotel the cheats have turned into their safe bubble out of sight of their unsuspecting spouses.
And cheating will not be made possible if lovers did not have a Duduzane, as in Duduzane Zuma - fixer who makes things happen.
For every cheating pair of lovers there are a few enablers who make the illicit affair thrive.
They either introduced the lovers to each other or still facilitate social events and organise love nests for them where the cheats can enjoy their debauchery unhindered.
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