Coming out to family members for the LGBTI community is not always easy.

South African and African javelin champion Sunette Viljoen was allegedly continuously abused by family members for being in an open lesbian relationship.

“My brother has just lifted his hands to me again and also my father four years ago. My brother has slapped me through the face‚” Viljoen posted on her Facebook page on Monday.

She also used Facebook to come out publicly about being lesbian‚ saying she was in love with Afrikaans TV news presenter Limari Louw.

Dr Alexandra Muller who is a senior gender‚ health and justice researcher at the University of Cape Town said the best way to deal with coming out to family members is to seek support from professionals for you and your family.

“If LGBTI individuals wish to engage with their family around abusive situations‚ I highly recommend doing so with the support from an LGBTI organisation or LGBTI-friendly‚ trained counsellor‚ who will be able to provide advice and psychosocial support in the process‚” Muller said.

There are a number of well-established NGOs in the country which provide help for LGBTI individuals and their families such as the Triangle Project in Cape Town‚ OUT LGBT Well-Being in Pretoria‚ the Durban Gay and Lesbian Centre‚ and the Forum for the Empowerment of Women in Johannesburg.

“All provide support not only to LGBTI individuals‚ but often also to families who struggle to accept family members who identify as LGBTI. For families who struggle to accept LGBTI family members due to religious beliefs‚ it might be helpful to approach inclusive faith organisations.”

Muller added that family members should remember that “sexual orientation and gender identity are not illnesses“.

In cases were individuals are continuously verbally and physically abused by family members for their sexual orientation‚ Muller advises them to approach the police.

“South Africa is fortunate to have a protective law and policy framework that prohibits discrimination against individuals based on their sexual orientation or gender identity‚ and also offers comprehensive protective measures outlined under the Domestic Violence Act.

“Individuals who experience abuse at the hands of family members can seek protection orders‚ or report abusive members of their family to the police. However‚ we also know that for many people‚ this might not be an option for a variety of reasons‚” Muller said.

Muller added that abused lesbian women who needed to leave abusive situations could seek refuge in women’s shelters.

Cape Town has a home called the ‘Pride Shelter’ which is specifically for LGBTI individuals who need assistance and a place to stay.

Psychologist Sharon Cox from support group Triangle Project said individuals can also write letters to inform their family of their sexual orientation.

“In this way one is able to think through what you want to say and do it in a way that is thoughtful‚ without blame and calmly. Whether one does it in person face to face or by letter‚ it is good to consider the questions that your family may have and be ready to address those‚” she said.

Cox added that beyond the commonly asked questions like “how long have you known this?“‚ “what caused this?“‚ “was it something we did?“‚ one also needs to be prepared.

“People need to explain to their family that their sexual orientation is only one part of who they are. It is not a lifestyle‚ it’s not a behaviour‚ a phase or a practice anymore than being heterosexual is.”

TMG Digital was unable to get hold of Viljoen or her coach for comment.