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Can we have the Juju v Oros sumo wrestling match already?

This is one week when anybody worth being called a politician would do their damnest to make some column space in newspapers and a mention on the airwaves.

Battle of the lard

THIS is one week when anybody worth being called a politician would do their damnest to make some column space in newspapers and a mention on the airwaves.

Vera couldn't help but notice that some people are just not cut out for this game. In township lingo they say "Uya fosta". One comes to mind: Collen Maine, the uncle masquerading as head mantshingilane at the ANC youth desk . oops that's what that veteran of streetwise politicking Juju calls his old home.

Oros is such a misfit at the Youth League that no one seems to really take him seriously - least of all the Tele Tubbies in red.

Vera watched with amusement when this Juju Wannabe tried in vain to bring some semblance of order to a section of the crowd that kept singing as Maine tried to read his speech at a rally.

Speech, what speech? That sounded so incoherent - save for the monkey slur and threats of violence - it could only have been penned by someone relaxing by the firepool in Nkandla.

It had Namba Wan's mighty pen written all over it.

The rally was themed "Kgalema Lenyatso" presumably to put some fear of the gods into Juju and his Crowd - fat chance. "Kgalema Lenyatso" loosely translated means "Kick Butt". Now if Oros couldn't get his rent-a-crowd to behave, what chance does he stand against Juju?

Now that's got Vera thinking. Imagine a Juju versus Oros fight. That could make for some interesting sumo wrestling battle, given the amount of lard on display. Any promoters out there?

Move over Oros

Oros's non-show was over before Vera could type O.V.E.R and the make believe Commander-in-Chief himself was back in the streets he knows better than no other.

Juju announced his arrival on the political stage all those years ago by leading a Cosas march downtown Joburg, with pupils running amok, helping themselves to hawkers' wares.

But this week's affair was comparatively peaceful as The Chubby One led his red army's charge on the Old Fort, where the Constitutional Court sits.

After the learned judges had all but done hearing Namba Wan's lawyers almost concede he's now Thuli Madonsela's number one fan, Juju took centre stage.

Now Vera doesn't know what to make of this. It must have been the dizzying Jozi heights which brought out the rural-at-heart CIC or it was good old nostalgia wreaking havoc with him.

How else is Vera to explain that he suddenly referred to the EFF as the Youth League when he addressed the media outside the ConCourt?

Thuli! Thuli! Thuli!

Then there was the Sona (state of the nation address) at parliament, a big event that threatened to be a non-event, what with the ConCourt stealing all the limelight?

Vera was green with envy what with public protector Thuli Madonsela making a grand entrance to a glorious welcome as if all the glory at Constitutional Hill wasn't enough for one lady. Haai!

Question of the Week: Was Chief Mangosuthu Buthelezi's cellphone-jamming flower banned at this year's Sona?

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