SOLUTIONS

But this could not be, because the other day you reported how well zuma's program for spreading antiretroviral was.

And the other day you reported that crime is on a strong decline, The mind boggles, could it be that the anc is lying to us about crime that is dropping and the good program of antiretroviral distribution to gain votes?
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oldlady12

Solutions, you've lost me. What does absent but living fathers have to do with ARV's?
"decreased by 26% from 49% to 37%"...if this is how stats are calculated, I'm right in not trusting it.
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oldlady12

Solutions, sorry, I missed the headline.
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sekhebereshe

i believe most of them are still alive they just dont want to take responsibility...RSA man they like having kids everywhere!
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Pointman

@Solutions - I hope the government is not lying to us but it is difficult to trust politicians. However note that one set of stats is based on historical info which is why the two sets of stats seem to be diverging.
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Pointman

Whatever the reason, this is not good news. These kids living without fathers are going to be disadvantaged. However what the stats do touch on is whether the kids are living with step fathers.
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zuluchick

i feel people need to be more responsible, as a woman if you know your man is cheating leave him otherwise youl find yourself pregnant and infected with the same baby daddy who is nowhere to be found.....

wake up and smell the coffee protect yourselves cos no one else will
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Voetzek

Ladies must start to be responsible, how you cannot determine if the guy is eating Msonoro
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Senganga247

sekhebereshe
RSA man they like having kids everywhere!
==========================================
So does the girls like to open their legs to even married men.
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oldlady12

Voetzek, why must it always be the woman? Don't you think men must also start thinking before they have one night stands and make babies they will never see or support?
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MommaC

What happened to the idea that actions have CONSEQUENCES?

I do not agree that single parents are 'bad people' and have 'bad children'. Yes, a male and female role model is important in a child's life but that doesn't mean it has to be their natural parent. A child will have a better upbringing in a single parent home than in one with both parents and a lot of unhappiness
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oldlady12

Senganga247, a woman can have a baby every 9 months or so. A man can make 9 babies in as many days. That would make the men who just sleep with anyone a lot more irresponsible as far as I am concerned.
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MommaC

Senganga247

What are married men doing opening the legs of other women when they have made a vow not to?
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KatakataEmaotoAditshepe

The report also highlighted that: "Another worrying trend, which has in recent months received increasing attention from the media, is the increase in absent but living fathers.
=================
On this problem both fathers and mothers contribute.
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Nongoloza24

I blame some women for this....You break up with the person and she prevents from seeing your child jus to get back at you not realising that in the end, it's the child that suffers...Some will even use their children as cash cows.
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KatakataEmaotoAditshepe

@sekhebereshe

i believe most of them are still alive they just dont want to take responsibility...RSA man they like having kids everywhere!
=========
Having a kids involves both parties my sister but you put it as if these guys force ladies to have them.

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KatakataEmaotoAditshepe

@Nongoloza24

I blame some women for this....You break up with the person and she prevents from seeing your child jus to get back at you not realising that in the end, it's the child that suffers...Some will even use their children as cash cows.
===========
For a man to provide for his kid/s doesnt mean the mean the kid/s is used as a cash cow,he/she is his.

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SOLUTIONS

I also blame the s***ty grant system for this, children wanting babies for few b.ucks a month.
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Sag

Nna la ka lere, bomme, bring up your kids God's way to be responsible, humble respectable loving beings. Sometimes you plan your life but aong the way things get interrupted. I was married a virgin, had 2 kids, suffered beatings because of insecurities and family interference, got divorced, and now the father doesn't take care of them, he insists that as long as I don't come back, they will never see a cent from him. We continued in destitude, God came in for us, we are now well off and doing very well, he is down of his knees begging me to divorce my current husband and come back. Life didnt treat him well, although he has remarried, he wants out. What do you call that???
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MsKinkyakaKamaSutra

"Children who grow up without a father suffer emotionally, intellectually, socially and in terms of behaviour.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

The above statement is not true at all. A child's upbringing and/or environment determines her behaviour. How many kids have loving present fathers but are deliquents.


Baby daddy is not dead but he is one of the irresponsible pissers.

My daugther is better of without her paternal family as they are a bunch of tribalist. She will grow not having to prove her worth (due to her mom being from the "wrong tribe). She will also grow up knowing that the sky is the limit............. she can achieve whatever she wants in life and never, ever see herself as a victim.


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oldlady12

Nongoloza24, ..."she prevents you from seeing your child".... Did you know that just as a woman can go to court to get child support, the man can go to court to get an order to see his children? You must just take the time and make the effort to do it. If you don't, then it is your own choice, just as many women choose not to go to court to get maintenance for their children. What both men and women are forgetting, is that they're deciding for the children, and they should decide what is best for the child, not for themselves.
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MsKinkyakaKamaSutra

@Nongoloza24
I blame some women for this....You break up with the person and she prevents from seeing your child jus to get back at you not realising that in the end, it's the child that suffers...Some will even use their children as cash co.ws.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i understand where you are coming from.

In my case it is different, I want him to be a part of the child's life... The sad reality is that he wants me to "pros.titute" myself (he can only come to see the daughter if I allow him to sleep over and r.oll in the .hay with him). So guess what??? He does not see his daughter, let us know even mention maintaince....... he always has a "strategy" of picking up fi.ghts with me (read I made him angry) so that he cannot put pa.pgeld in the child's acc.ount.

The "fig.hts" are always about the daughter using his s.urname.......... which is ironic as his family does not want to acknowlege the child because I am from the "wrong tribe".
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Sag

@mskinkyakakamasutra, spot on! mine are also from a wrong tribeand are even referred to as Zuthus (Zulu and Sotho) as they will never be real zulus, and gues what, they are far much better persons than their "real zulus"
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MsKinkyakaKamaSutra

@Sag
LOL! Zuthus........

With me I am Ts.wana and he is V.enda. The strange/funny thing is my tribe was never an issue when we were dating.........




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oldlady12

MsKinky...Tswenda?
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KatakataEmaotoAditshepe

If you know that you're not gonna provide for your kid/s that billy of yours knotted that's the only way irresponsible man can prevent .
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KatakataEmaotoAditshepe

If you know that you're not gonna provide for your kid/s that billy of yours must be knotted that's the only way irresponsible man can prevent .

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MsKinkyakaKamaSutra

@oldlady12
MsKinky...Tswenda?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
ROTFL.............. never thought of that.......

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Sag

Tswenda?, LMAO, iya ne? new tribes I guess
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Lenyora-Buckselona

Ms Kinky.U'r baby daddy's familly basele.Im also Venda and my woman is Zulu but my family is not showing any tribalistic tendencies towards her.So i guess its an invidulaistic thing not all vendas a tribalistic.

But one thing i know about Zulus is that they look down upon other ppls cultures.Eg: I paid lobola for my girlfriend and we had a son after that.I named my child but her family refuse to call the child with the name i gave him they call him with another name they themselves gave him.Mara i dont stress cos the name on the Birth certificate is the one that i gave him.
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oldlady12

MsKinky, Sag, if we start these new tribes, you think we can be queens of our own tribes and get that tribal leader's grant?
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CYBORICO

this can equated to more crooks, more rapes and more murders in the next 10- 20 years
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SOLUTIONS

CYBORICO
this can equated to more crooks, more rapes and more murders in the next 10- 20 years
---------------------
That is well said.
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AnyoneButZuma

Meaning a sharp decline in condom-utilisation!!!
Sharp increase kuma "straight"
Sharp Increase in alcohol consumption
Sharp increase in a desire to get laid "ukubhonyelwa"
Sharp increase in poverty
Resulting in a sharp increase in cabbage sales..............
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MsKinkyakaKamaSutra

@Lenyora-Buckselona
Ms Kinky.U'r baby daddy's familly basele.Im also Venda and my woman is Zulu but my family is not showing any tribalistic tendencies towards her.So i guess its an invidulaistic thing not all vendas a tribalistic.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I never said all Vendas are tribalistic


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MsKinkyakaKamaSutra

@oldlady12
MsKinky, Sag, if we start these new tribes, you think we can be queens of our own tribes and get that tribal leader's grant?
------------------------------------------------------------
LOL! That would be good

Unfortunately, @Sag will be the one getting a lion's shares (her kids have Zu.lu heritage) like King Zwelithini. You and I will only get petrol costs as it is with other leaders

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Lenyora-Buckselona

MsKinkyakaKamaSutra
@Nongoloza24
I blame some women for this....You break up with the person and she prevents from seeing your child jus to get back at you not realising that in the end, it's the child that suffers...Some will even use their children as cash co.ws.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i understand where you are coming from.

In my case it is different, I want him to be a part of the child's life... The sad reality is that he wants me to "pros.titute" myself (he can only come to see the daughter if I allow him to sleep over and r.oll in the .hay with him). So guess what??? He does not see his daughter, let us know even mention maintaince....... he always has a "strategy" of picking up fi.ghts with me (read I made him angry) so that he cannot put pa.pgeld in the child's acc.ount.

The "fig.hts" are always about the daughter using his s.urname.......... which is ironic as his family does not want to acknowlege the child because I am from the "wrong tribe".
.................................................................................................................
Is the child his?Have u ever cheated on him before,or have u given him a reason not to trust u?Maybe he is having doubts about the kids.Why else wud he behave in this manner?
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KatakataEmaotoAditshepe

It was good if you people were busy wasting your energy on the ways that could bring all these problems on their knees than poiting fingers at each other.
The article brought the problems on the spotlight so how do we defeat these since it's clear that we both males and famales are the cause of these difficulties?
Per my understanding it wont take one community(females/males) to defeat these difficulties.
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DIAMONDLADY2

@senganga not all gals.
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oldlady12

Katakata, iron chastity belts for all girls until they are at least 25, and then only the man who marries her legally as well gets the key.
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child4real

And this is so serious in a fact that some men who are not having any kids wnd who opt for marriage can't get any women who thinks getting maried is a solution.
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MsKinkyakaKamaSutra

@Lenyora-Buckselona
Is the child his?Have u ever cheated on him before,or have u given him a reason not to trust u?Maybe he is having doubts about the kids.Why else wud he behave in this manner?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The child is his, never cheated on him or even gave him doubts of there being another man.

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imfene

It's like Julius said, make more babies.
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child4real

Everything about this country is detoriating...how sad.But isn't it high time as the society started doing and looking at things differently.

Maybe our ways are not right. I mean if we can change our mind set to a bit of old time way of dealings fuse them with our modern times,won't that work?

We know how do old time people used to do and we are also advanced in technology,why can't we take from back then and mix it with now times?
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imfene

The upside is that urban birth rates are declining.
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oldlady12

MsKinky, was waiting for your comment. Did you notice how easily the woman is blamed and asked for explanations? And all he has to do is just look around him and see how many babies are without fathers. So many women can't all be wrong.
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MsKinkyakaKamaSutra

@KatakataEmaotoAditshepe
It was good if you people were busy wasting your energy on the ways that could bring all these problems on their knees than poiting fingers at each other.
The article brought the problems on the spotlight so how do we defeat these since it's clear that we both males and famales are the cause of these difficulties?
Per my understanding it wont take one community(females/males) to defeat these difficulties
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My part is to ensure that my daughter is brought in a loving home....... teach her about humility, respect. Let her know that a person's worth is not by measured by their race, tribe, gender, se.xual orientation, political affiliation but by their actions and character.

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BlackSeed

It is really easy for one to Marry or indulge with a sister or a brother in SA ek se.
The results of the Babel System

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MsKinkyakaKamaSutra

@oldlady12
MsKinky, was waiting for your comment. Did you notice how easily the woman is blamed and asked for explanations? And all he has to do is just look around him and see how many babies are without fathers. So many women can't all be wrong.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So sad that wom.en bear the brunt. I guess we all cheating hoes..........



One thing is that I hold my head high and will never let anyone define me.
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child4real

We are having solutions to our modern miseries but people just don't wanna consider the way out all you'll here is that you are so old fashioned if you propose to go back to basics.
1. We all know that having a child out of wedlock is a problem, but people still don't consider marriage
2. We all know that having to use condoms has saved a lot of people but still people can't consider that ,so as contraceptives and abstainance.
3. Sleeping around and lot of sexual partners togeher with alcohol abuses is and has always been a disaster but we are reluctant in making good decissions about our lives.
4. Aids has always been a problem that leads to fatherless babies but we still get caught.

We have chioces!!!
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imfene

oldlady12

It takes two to tango and probably our national indulgence, spirits.
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child4real

I suggest we must start thinking about educating ourselves and the young generation that people must wait to get married bofore they can start to have sex. I gues this is the first option, then dying of men we can't predict especially if men would be responsible for thier lives.
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child4real

*******Sag********
I so agree with you, Godly principles are the best solutions in this mess!

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oldlady12

Imfene, of course it takes two to tango, but then mostly only one runs away after the dance.
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Honeybadger

South African women are very loose panties generally; South African men (well BOYS) are also very irrisponsible. Further analysis of this numbers will show the inverse relations between this situation and the level of education. We are still to see a lot of this especially seeing that a lot of time is spent on apportioning blame instead of seeking solutions!
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MommaC

child4real

Sweden has one of the lowest marriage rates in the world. They manage to bring up children who don't turn into wh0res and rapists. The big difference is that Sweden also has one of the highest rates of female self sufficiency and possibly the highest female equality.
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KatakataEmaotoAditshepe

@MsKinkyakaKamaSutra
KatakataEmaotoAditshepe
It was good if you people were busy wasting your energy on the ways that could bring all these problems on their knees than poiting fingers at each other.
The article brought the problems on the spotlight so how do we defeat these since it's clear that we both males and famales are the cause of these difficulties?
Per my understanding it wont take one community(females/males) to defeat these difficulties
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My part is to ensure that my daughter is brought in a loving home....... teach her about humility, respect. Let her know that a person's worth is not by measured by their race, tribe, gender, se.xual orientation, political affiliation but by their actions and character.
========================
If she was a boy how and what were you gonna taught him,yes if she is a girl as her mother you can teach her what you've learnt from your parents and your community maybe the things that built you to what you're today since our communities also have an indirect input in our lives?


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oldlady12

KTKT, I raised 2 sons on my own from when they were 3 & 4 yrs old respectively. Today they are 2 strong, independant young men who can do anything they put their minds to. I myself, together with my 4 brothers were also raised by a mother alone, and my brothers are also independant (old) men who lived good lives. Don't underestimate the powers of a woman. If need be, any decent woman can raise a boy better than most men can. It's just that it should not be like that. Fathers should be there, and be involved in their child's life, and if you read the article, it's actually girls who miss having fathers the most.
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KatakataEmaotoAditshepe

@oldlady12

Imfene, of course it takes two to tango, but then mostly only one runs away after the dance.
=====
Oldie dont think that's an excuse since we still have fathers in our relatives and community who in our past lives have raised children who were not theirs and they can today say if it wasnt Mr Mabubuka I couldnt have been here.
That's what we're doing we as African the child was community's not the actual parteners alone,father were fathering all the kids in the villages and mothers were doing the same as well and that brought out good fruits by then.

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Laqasha

This article exaggerates the role fathers play. I also know a lot of guys that grew up without their
fathers and have turned out to be balanced individuals.
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munhu

These are those few moments that you feel proud to be Zimbo. Here, we take responsibilities. We are always there for our kids, for better for worse. S.Africa needs men, not these sissies who would rather buy R1000+ cologne, gold earrings, and expensive cornrows at the expense of their 'seed". Take a minute and watch animal planet, even animals would do all they can to protect their offspring, even if it means doing so with their lives. I am talking of you Mzansi men. Stand up and take responsibility. You must feel ashamed to have the government look after your kids when you are alive. Feel the pain of how many times your own flesh and blood is gonna call strangers daddy when you are there. If you cant look after them, if you can't put on the condom, go get a vasectomy!
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thathakonke

Also contributing to this is how children are raised. Most African children grow up where family values are not witheld anymore,having children out of wedlock is accepted and when unmarried couple break off the mother is likely to raise the child and the father is absent or disappear or the child is caught uo in the middle and has this perseption that his/her father is useless
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oldlady12

Katakata, even us whites used to do that. My young days if you were naughty, and your parents were not around, any old tannie would give you a klap to teach you a good lesson. And then you hoped she didn't inform your parents, cause then you'll get it from them too. Now, if an older person corrects a child when the parents is not around, the parent will probably set the cops on them.
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oldlady12

Munhu, come see how many Zimbo men with families back in Zim are making more babies here. Now that you brought yourselves into this, maybe that is the main problem here. Zim and other country men making babies here and then just disappearing.
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MsKinkyakaKamaSutra

@KatakataEmaotoAditshepe
Irrespective of the gender (of the my child) I would have still taught him the same principles. When he is of age my dad and brother would gladly assist/advice (if Im still not yet marreid)
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Laqasha

@oldlady12
Very true. I happen to have one or two Zimbo friends, and this is very common to them.
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munhu

@Oldlady 12: Are they denying partenity, are they failing to look after their kids, its not about making babies, its about taking responsibility of your actions!
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KatakataEmaotoAditshepe

@oldlady12

Katakata, even us whites used to do that. My young days if you were naughty, and your parents were not around, any old tannie would give you a klap to teach you a good lesson. And then you hoped she didn't inform your parents, cause then you'll get it from them too. Now, if an older person corrects a child when the parents is not around, the parent will probably set the cops on them.
==========
You say this present life has shown that is far away to reach the standard of the ancestral life or may be there are some millennium contents because if you can recall before millennium things were not this bad Oldie but today they're worse.
You'll end up pointing finger to democracy since it gave too much freedom and right to all to do whatever thay want.
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KatakataEmaotoAditshepe

@MsKinkyakaKamaSutra

KatakataEmaotoAditshepe
Irrespective of the gender (of the my child) I would have still taught him the same principles. When he is of age my dad and brother would gladly assist/advice (if Im still not yet marreid).
===============
Happy that you know that there's a stage where you wont fit to build a male kid which is exactly what I've said earlier that if the father ran way that doesnt mean their no fathers anymore unless you're a very selfish and ignorant person MsKinkyakaKamaSutra and makes you a very wise mom.

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oldlady12

Munhu, all of the above.
Katakata, I think it is money that changed things. Olden day people, black and white, just did not have as much money, so they kept things simple. If your son and daughter made babies, they had to look after the babies themselves, as you did not have the money to support either your grandchildren, or your own children should they choose to leave their partners. Also, less women worked then, so they could not just go out and meet men in all kinds of places. When they married, they had to stick it out with that partner. Same way, men met less women, because there were not many of them in the workplace. Clubs and things that lead young people astray were few and far between. Money changed it all for everyone.
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KatakataEmaotoAditshepe

@oldlady12

KTKT, I raised 2 sons on my own from when they were 3 & 4 yrs old respectively. Today they are 2 strong, independant young men who can do anything they put their minds to. I myself, together with my 4 brothers were also raised by a mother alone, and my brothers are also independant (old) men who lived good lives. Don't underestimate the powers of a woman. If need be, any decent woman can raise a boy better than most men can. It's just that it should not be like that. Fathers should be there, and be involved in their child's life, and if you read the article, it's actually girls who miss having fathers the most.
==============
Oldie dont say because their father were not there for the boys there were no fathers in process of raising the boys the men were still there yes to provide them you can say you were alone yes,we've to differentiate between providing for the kids and raising them to raise a kid/s doesnt take only two partners but the whole people surrounded such family men still included among such people,I dont know if you get me onthis one.

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KatakataEmaotoAditshepe

@oldlady12

Munhu, all of the above.
Katakata, I think it is money that changed things. Olden day people, black and white, just did not have as much money, so they kept things simple. If your son and daughter made babies, they had to look after the babies themselves, as you did not have the money to support either your grandchildren, or your own children should they choose to leave their partners. Also, less women worked then, so they could not just go out and meet men in all kinds of places. When they married, they had to stick it out with that partner. Same way, men met less women, because there were not many of them in the workplace. Clubs and things that lead young people astray were few and far between. Money changed it all for everyone.
=================
Oldies but the last thing that we all know that money cannt to is to decide for us and tell us what we want in our lives or teaches us wrongs from rights in this regard I dont thing money is the cause of all this.

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Laqasha

It's tough being a lady, guy has kid/s with u and just decides "sorry, I am tired of u." and he is gone.

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KatakataEmaotoAditshepe

@Laqasha

It's tough being a lady, guy has kid/s with u and just decides "sorry, I am tired of u." and he is gone.
==========
The causes baba it's a habit when the child doesnt have a father that the father just left because he's irresponsible but I bet that if you can dig a bit deeper you'll find that some or many have been forced to take such decision.
I'm not saying that we clean men but people must learn to use both eyes.

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Laqasha

@KatakataEmaotoAditshepe
agreed Sir, agreed!
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Lenyora-Buckselona

MsKinkyakaKamaSutra
@Lenyora-Buckselona
Is the child his?Have u ever cheated on him before,or have u given him a reason not to trust u?Maybe he is having doubts about the kids.Why else wud he behave in this manner?
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The child is his, never cheated on him or even gave him doubts of there being another man
.................................................................................................................................
I hope u being honest for your sake but i still maintain there are two sides to a story.I dont think there is a guy in his right mind who wud just abandone his offspring for no apparent reason.Unless if u were dealing with a married guy.

Also another thing that makes men leave/disappear is these disrepectfull women who are too damn educated to recognise what a man is.These type of women who are educted,have lots of money and hold high positions ba tella goed so no man wud allow to be disrespected by a woman,im talking from experience.
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Sag

@munhu I have 2 Zim ladies in my house, one with 2 kids and the other with 1, I take care of those kids from school to medical necessities, including trips to zoo and Goldreeve city. Their fathers are some where in the world. And NO!, these ladies are not taking advantage of me, they are really in need, they do meet me half way with the money I pay them, but its still hard, they some times sacrifice their festive season holidays just to help with january school fees and uniform, they would rather put their happiness just to raise their kids. I have gone through the same situation and that's why we are pulling together having God by our side. We do have a large residence, and they have their own cottages, so, they know their place. No nationality is better that the other, its an individual's behaviour, not national, or tribal
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motlantheforpresident

Senganga247
sekhebereshe
RSA man they like having kids everywhere!
==========================================
So does the girls like to open their legs to even married men.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
@Senga
girls like to open their legs to even married men.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chief our kids are lost especially girls you know they are too Horney as young as 11 years but one element to blame is civilisation most civilised nation perform things which are a curse to their own tradition this is more like trying to mix oil with water western tradition is totally different from African tradition and trying to adopt western tradition to our own culture really is a disaster. in Africa girls and boys were raised in a way to bring about a different between young and old but girls as young as 12 are falling pregnant by men as old as 40 years nxaaa

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