LADIES and gentlemen, let me say it's now official ukuthi: the Metro FM Awards will be held in Nelspruit on November 26.

Last week Metro FM invited Phosho on an excursion in Mpumalanga that took almost four days.

When we left Auckland Park, one could have mistaken it for a school trip since spirits were high in our group.

On the way to our destination we were treated like VVIPs, as we indulged in expensive champagnes like Moët and other expensive drinks that Phosho had no clue about.

Though we were treated like VVIP's, Phosho and other celebrities had to literally stop the bus on the freeway almost an hour into the trip just to answer the call of nature like (amagoduka ebuya eGoli). Mpumalanga people, please build more toilets on your freeway because Phosho does not want to stop a car again.

We were then taken to some place called the Sudwana Caves. I could not help but wonder what got into Lesley Nhloko's head when he told everyone the Metro FM Awards might have found a permanent venue in Mpumalanga, forcing SABC spin doctor, Kaizer Kganyago to unleash his damage control machinery.

Uphosho did not know that Metro FM talk show host Chriselda Kananda could do such a get down. I guess since she was in her province, phela umhlobo could not stop introducing us to people she said were her friends.

You can beat Uyanda Mbuli in some places but not in Mpumalanga. Since she is famous for nothing I suggest she should start a TV show that would encourage other celebrities to go home, please magoduka ndini.

Finally, Tazz Ngida is mixing with the right crowd and Phosho can see that the guy is very famous these days. It was as if James Bond had landed in the small town. He kept signing autographs for kids and that made us late.

I really hope Muzi Ngwenya is learning a few things about how to become a celebrity.

He kept telling those who cared to listen he was the guy who came second on the TV show Amstel Class Act Top 10.

At Orange Restaurant in , I spotted Ligwalagwala FM radio DJs Shabba and Madumane, who were partying like never before. At least this time around Shabbisto was very different from the one I saw at Zar. Mara ... why did Metro FM have to take us to some bush called God's Window? It was as if I were taken to my place in Estholweni, Emzimkhulu.

Please guys next time rather take us to Kwamkhuhlwa or Kwanyamazane. But otherwise I liked the potholes just as I did DJ Siyanda, who kept talking about them the whole day.

Metro FM acting station manger Johan Van Rooyen is such a good guy. I wonder why he was so close to Desiree Oliphant, a senior manager at the SABC?

Okay, Johan, you should understand that Phosho has a huge crush on her.

While I was enjoying the good sounds of DJ Choice at Dejavu, a popular hangout in Mpumalanga, I spotted Mpower FM DJ Celani Dube, who kept telling Nhloko he should listen to his show Souled Out. Celani, let's say one day is one day.

And Metro FM radio DJ and newsreader Kgopedi wa Namane ... I wonder why she chose a career in radio? I am sure she would make a good teacher at a crèche, judging by the way she took care of children at Good Hope Centre in Mpumalanga.

It certainly looks as if the Metro FM Awards are going to be much bigger and better in 2011.