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WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING: KK from Muvhango

Women like Meme, who are in love with a psychopath, deep down know that they're dealing with a sick man

 One in five women will date a monster like Muvhango's KK 

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He calls 1000 times a day, obsesses over every date and gets jealous when you talk to other guys.

He is psychotic. Think about Muvhango's KK, the sick, mentally abusive and very controlling vat-en-sit of Meme.

Studies indicate that one in five women will date a man like KK during their lifetime, and the Memes of this world will go to their graves still shivering at the memory.

This behaviour is more likely to occur in men than women. About one percent of women have this disorder, while three percent of men have it.

Asiphe Ndlela, a relationship expert in Illovo, Johannesburg, says women like Meme, who are in love with a psychopath, deep down know that they're dealing with a sick man, but because their self-esteem has plunged, they have internalised the abuse that is meted out by their partners.

Ndlela says: "Women in such relationships stay in the relationship because they don't think anyone will believe their stories of abuse.

"After all, the men who are abusing them look and act quite normal in their daily public lives," Ndlela says.

She adds that it often takes 35 incidents of violence before a woman approaches the police.

She says KK's kind has severe mental and emotional issues and disregards the rights of others.

"This pattern usually comes into evidence around the age of 15 and if it is not treated, it can develop in adulthood. Children who are influenced by psychotic parents may adopt these tendencies," Ndlela says.

She says when they are dumped, these men call countless times pleading for another chance. Some even try to sabotage a woman's future relationships and worst still, they stalk her.

Ndlela says most men, instead of becoming depressed and retreat to lick their wounds, often focus their negative emotions on the partner who ended the relationship.

She says psychopathic men are usually clever manipulators.

"They play to the emotions of others. They typically have high verbal intelligence, but they lack emotional intelligence. Half the time they don't understand or appreciate the impact that their behavior has on their partners," Ndlela says.

"Research has also shown that the sociopath is usually a person with an abundance of charm and wit," Ndlela says.

"He may appear friendly and considerate, but these attributes are usually superficial.

"They are used as a way of blinding the other person to the personal agenda behind the sociopath's behaviour," Ndlela says.

Comments

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Wed Jun 19 16:00:32 SAST 2013 ::

Jun 13, 2011

tpaz

One in 2 men will date a woman like Khanyi Mbau.
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Jun 13, 2011

darkcoc

lol struu hehehehehe things we do sometimes lol
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Jun 13, 2011

KimiRaikonnen

I was made to believe that i was a psychotic, i went through therapy and consulted professionals and only to find out that there was nothing wrong with me.

I had a girlfriend who was and i still believe is the best cheat in the world, if cheating was a profession she could make millions. She cheated on me, she wouldn't sleep at home, she would switch her phone off over the weekends and on top of that she convinced me to see a shrink.

I wonder gore o kae?
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Jun 13, 2011

mbondozi

I wonder why women are like this , you find a highly educated intelligent woman dating a loser , a nobody , a back yard woman abuser but women stick to these monsters for dear life until they get Aids or brutally killed by these dangerous animals.
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Jun 13, 2011

MsKinkyakaKamaSutra

@ Bloggers Shalom

@Tpaz.... very funny

I was fortunate to nip it in the bud very early. At 21 was almost engaged to a control freak who watched my every move and will sometimes have his friends follow to and from varsity. I was always scared of strangers. He told me that he has a bullet engraved with my name and he will not think twice about killing me. I took a bold step, dumped him and told him to shove his lobola where the sun doesn't shine. The phone calls, the threats (if I can't have you no other man will have) got worse to an extent that he was even threatening to harm my youngest sister.

Decided to involve the law makers, reported him to the Police (provided his photo and address). At first the Police were reluctant to do anything, making excuses that there is no proof/evidence as he has not yet harmed me (my dad made it clear that should anything happen to me he will come after them). At the end the Police did what they were supposed to do, I met with the Prosecutor. To cut a long story short, who got a visit from the men in blue and whatever they said to him worked.........

To all the sisters out there don't wait for him to even lay a finger on you, the threats should be enough for your to "run for dear life". Toxic relationships are no good
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Jun 13, 2011

Cuteycool

i once had a boyfriend like KK. I was blinded by love and thought hfe loved me too much thats why he's treating me like that.

Thats bullshit ladies... Walk away immediately after seeing the signs.

.
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Jun 13, 2011

Ann

some are in denial until its too late
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Jun 13, 2011

Thuls2li

35 incidents?? Wow so my mom's last was her death.....
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Jun 13, 2011

Princess2Adora

Women like Meme r as hurt as da guy is.............................Dey paint a pic of a strong woman who cn handle anythng bt deep inside she's bleeding!!!!!!!


Abuse is jst rong in any way possible
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Jun 13, 2011

KUKU

Dumelang,

@Sowetan - i was wondering when you'll publish something abt Meme and KK...Thanks

I say abusive women deserve what they get themelves into - mosadi ga a kwele kwai o ka se mmotše selo even if she is in a abusive relationship she will never come out. I know a lot of ppl in abusive relationships and they decide to turn a blind eye. You can not force a person to leave her lover - they will always go back to their partners and you will always be the jelous friend.

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