THE secret is out! Energy Minister Dipuo Peters is exceedingly terrified of the Machine Gun Man, especially after he showed everyone his brutal side when he mercilessly fired seven of her colleagues and redeployed two others in one fell swoop.

So scared is the poor minister that she is now doing everything in her power to demonstrate to her boss that she is on top of the service delivery game.

In an unprecedented bid to escape being in the firing line the next time the Machine Gun Man wields his lethal weapon, Peters has taken to writing media releases herself for everyone, including the Machine Gun Man, to see she is working.

One such media release was published in Sowetan recently.

In the article, which appears under her byline, Peters brings us up to speed with her department's Integrated Resource Plan, which she describes as "a much-needed instrument for mobilising investments and development of a stable and sustainable electricity supply equation."

She even, for good measure, invokes Deputy President Kgalema Motlanthe's name, saying he "wants work on the plan completed by the end of the year".

It's not surprising why Peters is shaking so violently in her boots.

During a rally attended by about 2000 Ain't Seen Nothing Yet's supporters in the run-up to the 2009 elections, the Woodwork Boy accused her - she was Northern Cape premier at the time - in her presence and in front of the Machine Gun Man of "having been bought and bribed by business people".

"We will never be manipulated," the Woodwork Boy said to her face. "If the premier wants to go, you are welcome, comrade premier, to also leave ."

The minister will never forget those words.

Dropping standards

When the Ain't Seen Nothing Yet took over the reins of power in 1994, it had to deal with the mounting fears of doubting Thomases who thought there would be a drop in standards now that blacks would be on top.

Metrorail, the suburban passenger and commuter rail services provider then under the auspices of state-owned enterprise Transnet, was so hard-pressed to prove the prophets of doom wrong that its then newly appointed "demographically representative management" set its standards very high. It even came up with a new pay-off line: "We'll take you there, nomakanjani (we'll take you to any destination, no matter what)!"

Now, more than a decade and a half later, the company, which has moved from one crisis to another, has dropped the "nomakanjani" part, ostensibly because management is struggling to keep its promises.

The rehashed pay-off line simply reads: "We'll get you there!"

If this is not an admission by the company's overwhelming black management corps that standards have dropped, then Guluva does not know what is.

Judicial system on the Block

After the release on R100000 bail of its chairperson John Block in a case involving fraud, corruption and money laundering, the Ain't Seen Nothing Yet in the Northern Cape issued a statement saying: "We still believe in his innocence until a credible court of law proves otherwise."

Decoded, the statement means: "Our chairperson is innocent. Any finding to the contrary will be unacceptable."

Guluva is afraid; very afraid.

Email Guluva on: thatha.guluva@gmail.com.