IT CAN be challenging and stressful for a single parent to find the right partner.
Firstly, whoever you pick should be suitable for you and your child. The "candidate" should love children and be willing to make room for them in his or her life.
According to life coach Motlalepula Matsaung "your partner should have integrity, moral character, stability and a well-maintained life".
Matsaung says a person with these qualities is an advantage.
"As a parent you will be happier to have a companion to share your intimate and precious life with, which can be fulfilling," she says.
Thabo Molefi of Vosloorus in Ekurhuleni, who is a father of two boys, says being single is no fun. His biggest challenge is when he has to introduce his children to a new partner.
"I do not introduce my children to my partners until I know for sure wether the relationship will work out. My current girlfriend and I decided to take our kids out for lunch just to see how they react to each other - and then to take it from there," Molefi says.
Epeleng Nare, 29 a single mom from north of Johannesburg, has a four-year-old daughter. She says it is not easy to date or introduce your new partner to your children.
"I wish we were living in the old days when guys knew what they wanted," she says.
"Today we deal with men who don't know what they want and it becomes a challenge when one has to decide whether to introduce him to the kid or not."
But Nare says her main issue is: how long will he be around?
"It's hard because most of the time, just when you think you have met the right one, he turns out to be a disappointment. Then you have to go back to your child and explain why 'uncle-so-and-so' is no longer coming to visit."
Nomathemba Gqetsu, 26, of Orlando West in Soweto, says she does not introduce her seven-year-old son to a man in her life until she knows for sure where the relationship is headed.
"My son is young and very important to me. I don't want to confuse him. He thinks my partner is a male friend and nothing more. He knows his dad and I would like to keep things that way until I get married," Gqetsu says.
Rose Simelane, 30, of Johannesburg, says she sees nothing wrong with introducing your children to your new partner.
"I don't think there is a hard and fast rule as to when you should introduce your partner to your child. It all depends on the nature of your relationship and other circumstances," Simelane says.
Matsaung encourages couples to make sure they are emotionally ready for a commitment.
"To be in a relationship one should be whole and complete first. Knowing exactly the purpose of being in a relationship and what you want from your better half will assist you in having that honest conversation with him or her and to deal with your expectations before taking it any further," says Matsaung. - lerato@sowetan.co.za
Finding the right partner
IT CAN be challenging and stressful for a single parent to find the right partner.
Firstly, whoever you pick should be suitable for you and your child. The "candidate" should love children and be willing to make room for them in his or her life.
According to life coach Motlalepula Matsaung "your partner should have integrity, moral character, stability and a well-maintained life".
Matsaung says a person with these qualities is an advantage.
"As a parent you will be happier to have a companion to share your intimate and precious life with, which can be fulfilling," she says.
Thabo Molefi of Vosloorus in Ekurhuleni, who is a father of two boys, says being single is no fun. His biggest challenge is when he has to introduce his children to a new partner.
"I do not introduce my children to my partners until I know for sure wether the relationship will work out. My current girlfriend and I decided to take our kids out for lunch just to see how they react to each other - and then to take it from there," Molefi says.
Epeleng Nare, 29 a single mom from north of Johannesburg, has a four-year-old daughter. She says it is not easy to date or introduce your new partner to your children.
"I wish we were living in the old days when guys knew what they wanted," she says.
"Today we deal with men who don't know what they want and it becomes a challenge when one has to decide whether to introduce him to the kid or not."
But Nare says her main issue is: how long will he be around?
"It's hard because most of the time, just when you think you have met the right one, he turns out to be a disappointment. Then you have to go back to your child and explain why 'uncle-so-and-so' is no longer coming to visit."
Nomathemba Gqetsu, 26, of Orlando West in Soweto, says she does not introduce her seven-year-old son to a man in her life until she knows for sure where the relationship is headed.
"My son is young and very important to me. I don't want to confuse him. He thinks my partner is a male friend and nothing more. He knows his dad and I would like to keep things that way until I get married," Gqetsu says.
Rose Simelane, 30, of Johannesburg, says she sees nothing wrong with introducing your children to your new partner.
"I don't think there is a hard and fast rule as to when you should introduce your partner to your child. It all depends on the nature of your relationship and other circumstances," Simelane says.
Matsaung encourages couples to make sure they are emotionally ready for a commitment.
"To be in a relationship one should be whole and complete first. Knowing exactly the purpose of being in a relationship and what you want from your better half will assist you in having that honest conversation with him or her and to deal with your expectations before taking it any further," says Matsaung. - lerato@sowetan.co.za
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