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 Do you want a part-time lover who uses you for what he can get out of you, or do you want more? 

MY BOYFRIEND is 26 and I am 19. We have been together for six months.

He is employed and I am still studying.

When we first met we saw each other all the time, but he seems to be treating me differently now.

I am really not sure where I stand with him now. I am not sure whether he loves me at all anymore.

I absolutely adore him and I dream of marrying him and having his children.

He seems to avoid my calls because he says he is too busy at work. I hardly see him anymore and when I do, he comes to my room and we have sex.

He no longer takes me anywhere. I don't know his friends or his family or where he lives.

I am not asking him to spend money on me at all, but just to spend time with me. I feel as if he is using me.

I have tried to speak about my concerns, but he says I am making a mountain out of nothing.

I tell him I love him, but he never says it back to me.

I am confused because I don't know how he feels about me. Am I wasting my time? - Lonely and Angry, Randburg

ADVICE FROM DEAR DUDU

You need to ask yourself what you want out of life. Do you want a part-time lover who uses you for what he can get out of you, or do you want more?

Don't you think you deserve the best? There are lots of things you can do together that don't cost money.

This is all part of the process of learning about each other and enjoying each others' company.

If you are in a relationship, you should want to spend quality time together.

It is very obvious from your letter that this man is using you for sex. He is making no effort to get to know you as a person and to develop a proper relationship.

The fact that you don't even know where he lives should tell you that he is not an honest man and is playing games.

Give him up and give yourself a chance to meet someone who truly cares about you. Concentrate on your studies and have fun with your friends.

Life is too short to ever settle for second best.

Comments

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Thu May 23 18:13:07 SAST 2013 ::

Dec 7, 2012

TLekota

You are so young girl be in a serious relationship. Just have three or four of boyfriends garner experience, play them than being stressed by a veteran.
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Dec 7, 2012

Dubul'Amanzi

"MY BOYFRIEND is 26 and I am 19. We have been together for six months."
Bekezela Ntombazane,in fact you are still young to know anything about sex,focus on your studies.
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Dec 7, 2012

Shredder

Ou seun tla kwano, tla kwano. Ke batla gore o mpolele sengwe, a o ja hela kampo wa nyala?
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Dec 7, 2012

MommaC

I blame Walt Disney.

You are 19 - get a life. Preferably one where you aren't a handy bootie call.
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Dec 7, 2012

USHILO

way too young for dis rubbish.de dude has lost interest, pretty much obvious...Play him around, start acting the way he does... Stop telling him u love him, tell him u tired to have sex... You deserve better young lady....
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Dec 7, 2012

asaowe

close btwen yr legs finish n klaar
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Dec 7, 2012

Gusheshe3.25is

Actions speaks louder than words Girly. he chowed the cake and he is getting another somewhere so tell him way to getoff and concentrate on your studies cause he will just come for the cookie and tell you excuses of beeing hard at work. why was he not busy at first while the cake was still new to him. o boletse Mashabela Galane are a man can do anything to lay his hands on a new cookie and once he tasted it, he start with excuses but im not that type of a dude
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Dec 7, 2012

Gwambe

" I feel as if he is using me"
yes he is,

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Dec 7, 2012

Ma'dreds

I absolutely adore him and I dream of marrying him and having his children.

U should be dreaming abt finishin ur studies (BCom/Degree) & stop living a fairy tale life...
u're too young to be concern abt love, have fun & dnt take sex too personal
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Dec 7, 2012

ThirdEye

I know this because I have done it before, girl just run. He is using you & he do have a serious partner somewhere.
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