THE relationship between me and my ex-boyfriend lasted for two years.

I am 23 years old and he is 29. When I met him I thought he was my soulmate.

He is successful and has a great personality.

He is the only man in his family and he has three sisters. He also has a wide circle of friends.

He used to spoil me and take me to fantastic places. In spite of all this, we fought almost daily. Sometimes we fought over small things and sometimes over serious issues. He doesn't like my family or friends and, to be honest, I don't really like his family or friends.

His sisters are jealous of me because they think he will stop giving them money if I am in his life. I have never asked him to give me money or buy me anything.

My father doesn't like him because he says my ex is money-mad and thinks he can "buy his way out of anything in life".

I feel inferior to his friends because they are successful and very comfortable in social situations.

We went to a club one night and I wanted to leave. He had been drinking a lot and grabbed my arm and pushed me into a chair. He very nearly hit me, but his friend stopped him. After that I broke up with him.

I could really never face his friends again. I was devastated.

My father has never laid a hand on my mother and I wasn't brought up in a family where this sort of behaviour is acceptable.

After I told him it was over he left me for two months. He has tried to get in touch with me again and wants to meet me.

I still love him, but I am not sure whether his attack on me was a once-off occurrence or whether he is an abusive person. What should I do?

Maltreated, Protea Glen

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ADVICE FROM DEAR DUDU

Unless both of you are prepared to make serious changes the relationship will not work.

Couples who constantly fight are normally in a power struggle and it never achieves anything.

For him to physically abuse you, whether in public or not, is unacceptable.

He should be the one who is ashamed and not you. He needs professional help and if he is not prepared to make an effort, then you cannot consider going back to him.

I also think you should consider the fact that neither of you is comfortable with each others' family and friends and this is a seriously important issue that cannot be ignored.

Because of the way you constantly fight, which again is not a positive sign, you both would have to look at constructive ways to change your behaviour. After that you might have a successful relationship.

You both need to take responsibility for your own actions.

Having differences should never lead to abusive behaviour and one should always be respectful to the other.

If you decide to go back to him without dealing with your problems, then you will continue to live a life of unhappiness. Do not make yourself a victim. You have to be in control of the decisions and actions you take in life.