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My girlfriend makes me uncertain about marriage

By Dear Dudu | Oct 26, 2012 | COMMENTS [ 369 ]

My problem is that my girlfriend is becoming more and more distant towards me. We no longer have a physical relationship because apparently she is always tired...

I AM 28 years old and have been in a committed relationship for three years.

My girlfriend is 25 and we live together.

She is a fantastic person, successful, beautiful and honestly has the most wonderful personality.

We are getting married next year in July. It sounds as if everything is perfect - but it is not.

My problem is that my girlfriend is becoming more and more distant towards me.

We no longer have a physical relationship because apparently she is always tired and it seems as if she has no time for me anymore.

I have tried to speak to her about this but she says I must understand her situation. She is working, studying and also planning the wedding.

I bumped into a former girlfriend of mine a while back and we had coffee.

The attraction between us is strong. We have been texting each other since and I am tempted to start a relationship with her.

I am also having second thoughts about getting married.

If this is how married life is going to be I would be making a big mistake.

The problem is that we have spent so much money already and family and friends are all so excited about the wedding.

I feel as if I am trapped and that I have no choice but to go through with it. I am suffering from stress and not sleeping.

What should I do? - Desperate, Fourways

ADVICE FROM DEAR DUDU:

It sounds to me as if you are suffering from cold feet at the thought of getting married.

To be fair you need to break contact with your former girlfriend immediately.

Explain to her that you are getting married and that you would appreciate it if she would stop contacting you.

Have an honest discussion with your fiancée and explain your feelings.

Tell her you feel as if you are losing touch with her and try to remember what attracted you to each other in the beginning.

Relationships are hard work. They don't stay the same but, over time, change.

Tell her that, together, you have to make time for each other.

Take her to dinner or make a picnic, anything that will reignite the spark in your relationship. It won't happen immediately but with effort on both your parts it is possible to find each other again.

It is completely natural to get cold feet.

Marriage will change your life forever. You need to ask yourself what exactly is making you so nervous. Is it because you will no longer be single?

Are you worried about the money involved in getting married?

Or perhaps the actual day when you get married when there is so much focus on you?

If you have tried everything possible to ensure that you still love your fiancée and you are still having doubts, then you need to consider whether you really should be getting married.

If you feel that you are not ready then tell your fiancée.

Consider putting off the marriage for a while until you are feeling more confident, irrespective of money or what other people will think.

If you decide that you no longer love your fiancée then the right thing to do is call off the wedding entirely.

Yes, it will upset many people but you cannot go ahead with your wedding if you no longer love your fiancée and you do not see a future with her.

Think carefully before you make any decisions.
 

COMMENTS [ 369 ]

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Galfrend
One of your responsibilities should also be keeping your man happy as he does for you.
Remember your excuses when you find out i'm cheating on you because i have the same responsibilities and i manage to never be tired when you want it.

Oct 26, 2012 12:55 | 0 replies

Eish people there is this young girl doing her 1st year ko Uniwest she's about 19years...that child is beautiful o pakile ke cho o eme sentle and ke yellow b'one...last year ne ke batla mnyakazo ko yena and we ended up dating...I managed to break her virginity ne ke mo nyakaza every now and then ga mastand a seyo...I used to buy those emergency pills each time we didn't use protection...

I bumped into her ko Mega City last weekend and those feelings tsa jika ko tseleng and when I told her I missed her she told me she has moved on with her life and has found a new man..truth be told I enjoyed her and when she told me about another man I was hurt and it seems she was serious...I still want her what sould I do please help.

Oct 26, 2012 1:22 | 0 replies

MsKinkyakaKamaSutra

True, instead of letting you take a cold shower she should give you an "earth shattering" BJ
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Uyangichaza wena Kinky, very practical and realistic about life. Amen to that.

Oct 26, 2012 1:23 | 0 replies

Ohh so You all here ^^relieved^^

nongi24 afternoon my sugar

sweetyk

dumela tsala mara go shota spekepeke

Oct 26, 2012 1:25 | 0 replies

Dzel

You always make sense guys like you sometimes can turn me off

Oct 26, 2012 1:26 | 0 replies

Galfrend

its not easy guys,the way I jump for joy when im on my periods yoh..Sex is tiring
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Wena you just need someone who will do you all night long and give you orgasm after orgasm. Sorry to say this but you sound deprived, this is not right.

Oct 26, 2012 1:27 | 0 replies

Dzel
SWEETYK

... and we have lips, tongues, fingers and other body parts we can use to make it wet and get you in the mood right. Phela punanis are like a remote control, you just need to know which buttons to press and how to turn the "wetness" on right. If he can't do that then he can't get you from zero to 250km/h in 15 minutes flat that is why s.ex like a drag to you.
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I hear you my brother and all those things di batla nako and energy and again it will be wet mo monyako wa punipuni but inside iyo yo yo it will be like your vuvuzela has nuts and again it will cause a problem ga ke rota (urinate) go tlo baba shhhhh ask me I know.

Oct 26, 2012 1:30 | 0 replies

Serobapipi-

You always make sense guys like you sometimes can turn me off
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

OFF! I honestly don't know how to respond to that.

Why, is shagging a hollow-head more of a thrill?

Oct 26, 2012 1:30 | 0 replies

SWEETYK
MsKinkyakaKamaSutra
@SWEETYK
Hello dearest

Mhh, when I am not here o b.ua ka.nna #shaking head# ke b.one the other day ne o b.atla ho n.nya.disa le Mo.bapal.adidre.kho.te
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LOL, frendo o ne a batla nna and nna I'm already taken Lala, so I thought gore wena o tlaba candidate e right, I'm sorry my chomi neh?
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I was kidding friendo......... @DJ o tla mpolaisa po.rn movies everyday #hiding#

Oct 26, 2012 1:31 | 0 replies

Dzel
Galfrend

its not easy guys,the way I jump for joy when im on my periods yoh..Sex is tiring
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Wena you just need someone who will do you all night long and give you orgasm after orgasm. Sorry to say this but you sound deprived, this is not right.
______________
Trust me my man gives me multiple orgasms,he gets me singing the chineese national anthem bro...nt deprived at all,sex nje is overated

Oct 26, 2012 1:31 | 0 replies

Skopokopoza
Galfrend
Skopo - kuyabanda :(

Sweety,im toyi toying alone..lol
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Kikikikikikikikikiki siyaya e Pitori!!!!, siyaya epitori!!!!, hayi!!! hayi!!! hayi!!!!hayi!!! Im helping you frend
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Kikikikikikikiki kwakwakwkakawawkakakwwkawkakwkwkakw tltltltlltltlltltlltltltlltlttlltltlltlt I'm LIKE the ruling party, ke batla go bona batho ba bangata ba toyi toya. LOLEST

Oct 26, 2012 1:21 | 0 replies