Sulking boyfriend driving me mad
I am 22 years old and my boyfriend is 26. His family is very close-knit and he is the only boy with three sisters. They all spoil him and think he can do nothing wrong...
I do not think his sisters like me. They always interfere in our relationship.
When he is happy he is a wonderful person and everything I wish for. But when he is unhappy my boyfriend is absolutely unbearable.
He thinks I should treat him in the same way as his sisters do. He expects me to fetch and carry and fuss over him all the time.
I am really not prepared to do this. We have started arguing a lot and he never ever apologises. He just sulks and mopes around. I have to apologise over and over to make him happy again.
Recently I decided to ignore his sulking and we did not speak for two weeks. Had I not apologised I don't think we would ever have spoken to each other again.
This is exhausting and it is making me question our relationship.
His sisters phoned and said terrible things about me, including that I am making his life a misery. They called me terrible names and threatened to hurt me if I continued to treat him badly.
They believe that I don't deserve him.
I think I have to end this relationship, but the problem is that I still have strong feelings for him.
What do you think? - No more spoiling, Germiston
ADVICE FROM DEAR DUDU
This is a difficult situation made worse by the behaviour of his sisters.
He sounds like a spoilt brat with too much baggage. He obviously has a problem with releasing his anger.
Of course he will not admit that he is also sometimes to blame when the two of you argue and he refuses to take responsibility for it.
It is unfair that you have to take all the blame all the time.
When he is angry, he takes full control of the situation by being in control of himself, you and the relationship.
If you want to give the relationship another chance, he must be willing to discuss it honestly with you. If he really cares for you he will be willing to work with you in setting up ways to overcome the arguments quickly and positively.
He also needs to tell his sisters to stop interfering and threatening you.
If he is not prepared to talk about the problem you should tell him that you are no longer going to put up with his behaviour.
If you argue and he sulks, do not entertain it at all. Tell him you do not want to be around him and that when he feels better and is prepared to talk he can contact you.
Ask yourself whether the good times outweigh the bad. This might help you decide whether to stay with your boyfriend or not.