My husband had affair with brother's wife
I have just had the most awful shock.
My husband told me that he had an affair with my brother's wife.
We have been married for five years and they have only been married for a year.
The only reason he told me was that another member of the family threatened that she would tell me if he didn't.
He claims that he loves me and that he had made a huge mistake. He cried and begged for my forgiveness. He promised that nothing like this would ever happen again.
I felt as if he had stuck a knife in my heart.
My brother is unaware of this and I don't know who else knows about the affair.
My husband suggested that we should move on with our lives, but I can't.
I cry a lot and ask him questions and he gets irritated with me.
Surely I should tell my brother? I am very close to him and if he knew that I had kept this from him he would never forgive me.
And how do I face his wife? I cannot act as if everything is okay between us.
As far as I am concerned she is a despicable person. If she tried to hug me I am not sure what I would do or say to her.
I am so disgusted with her that I can honestly say I hate her. It is just such a mess.
How can we all just pick up from here and carry on with our lives as if nothing has happened?
I love my husband, but I don't believe I will ever get over this. I am heartbroken.
I would never have imagined that he would do such a thing. There is no one I can talk to, so please help me and tell me what I should do? - Gutted, Diepkloof
ADVICE FROM DEAR DUDU:
I am sure you are feeling hurt, betrayed and terribly sad.
Only you can make the decision whether to tell your brother or not. If you do decide to tell him you must understand that it will probably result in further damage to your marriage and inevitably to the whole family.
You need to tell your husband that you need time and that it is impossible for you to "just get over this".
The least he can give you is time and patience. He must also be prepared to answer any questions you need answers to.
He is getting irritated because every time he sees you sad, or you ask questions, it reinforces his guilt.
When you are feeling stronger you and your husband need to speak honestly with each other and together decide how best you can move forward.
If you need help with this process consider going to the Family and Marriage Society South Africa (Famsa).
If the two of you love each other you should fight for your marriage.
It is possible to recover from betrayal, but it definitely does take a lot of time, love and patience.
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Mosquer
Eish batho ba soweto ba tletše ka mehlolo.Your husband is a dog, straight
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thethandoda
Men with their endless love of vertical smiles. What can you say? Forgive and forget.Report Abuse
Ompas
The onlu solution is divorce,after cheating,there is no longer trust and jealosy will increase,you will start to see things that dont exist.clearly this man dont love you,marriage is built on truth,trust and honesty.I dont have forgiveness for a cheater,finish and klaar,once i find out ,its history1Report Abuse
Washumkhukhu
give that men a BellsReport Abuse
Kaylae
Do not shield her,tell her husband how sick and twisted is his wife.Your brother deserves to know what kind of woman he married.As for your husband irritated for what exactly?He has the nerve to also say that,he must answer all the questions even if you repeat them.He must also show remorse and earn your trust if he really values your marriage.I for once wouldn't even consider staying,you are a real woman and should never be taken for granted
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Tsope'
Sesi get out of this marriage while you can. you must know that if you forgive him, you are giving him a free cheating pass ticket. he is never going to stop. the thing is the fear of cheating is all gone. why because he got away with it when you forgave him.Report Abuse
Mdala
So did Rio Ferdinand too.What's the big deal here?
Go and do what he did with his brother and see how he feels.
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Tsope'
Remember AIDS and happies (the clap) and hapitatis B are not curable!Report Abuse
KGS000
Morning EveryoneThere are 2 ways about this leave him or forgive him, mara chances are he'll do it again so its all up to you what you wanna do at the end of the day.
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McLoving
Why would a woman who have just married for a year have an affair?This erectile dys function and premature ejaculation is putting a lot of married women under a lot of pressure.It's not easy for some of them.South African men indulge in excessive use of alcohol and smoking with lack of regular excercise.This is killlling their marriages.Others with beer bellies,its really sad.
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