My husband had an affair and I want to divorce him
I am a married woman with two adult children, have never worked and thought my life was perfect.
Your husband has apologised and he does not want a divorce. If he really loved the other woman, he would not have said this
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My husband was always in business and we have had a good standard of living. The children attended good schools, went on to university and left home after they qualified.
My husband and I have our own as well as common friends, whom we socialise with quite regularly.
I recently found out that he has had an affair with one of our friends.
I am totally devastated because I always believed that we were happy. My husband has never given me any reason to believe he was unhappy with me and has always treated me with respect and love.
I also feel terrible because I believe that everyone but I knew about the affair. I am angry with our friends because they never said a thing though they must have known. When I asked them, they all denied knowing anything.
My husband did not deny the affair because I caught him and his lover kissing at a party. He has apologised, has said that he never meant to hurt me, that it "just happened" and that he will never leave me. He begged me not to divorce him.
I don't believe him and I want to leave him because I don't think I will ever trust him again. - Devastated, Sandton
DUDU RESPONDS:
I am very sorry that you have been hurt so badly. I can understand your pain and the fact that you want to leave your husband. It is a perfectly normal reaction.
But I would caution you not to make any decisions until you have given the matter some time and thought.
Your husband has apologised and he does not want a divorce. If he really loved the other woman he would not have said this.
Give your friends the benefit of the doubt because they might not have known what was going on. You are angry and it is normal to want to lash out at them, but if they are true friends one of them would have said something.
Perhaps you and your husband should go to a marriage counsellor to help you through this difficult time.
Whatever you do, do not make any rash decisions.
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Comments
maneater
stupid husband, even if you caught me kissing i would still deny it!!!Report Abuse
TupacAmaru
Rule number 1: Never cheatRule number 2: If you are going to cheat, never get caught.
Report Abuse
MorenaWaPolelo
I doubt if you will ever forgive your Husband these things they never go away, so i would say leave the man!!!Report Abuse
MshayeAzafe
TupacRule number 3: Refer to maeater: If you are caught, always deny it
Report Abuse
TjoVtjo
Being angry is one thing. Leaving is stupid. What good will it serve in the long run? By your own admittance you have been married long. These things happen. Don't be such a child. You don't throw away your car the first time it has a puncture do you? Why? Because a new one is an expence you don't want to deal with. Stay put, and get over yourself.Report Abuse
MGEEZ
Your husband has apologised and he does not want a divorce. If he really loved the other woman he would not have said this.===========================================================================
@ Sowetan where did you get this Dudu who can give such foolish advise??? If you love a person you do not go around kissing opposite sex and expect people to believe you when you claim that you love them. A tree is only judged by its fruit; I say divorce the lier and cheat, otherwise he will bring you all manner of STI's
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Hoshpelepelewa26Zikuphi
Wa nye.la just a kiss. your husband must come to me to learn how to lie.Report Abuse
MGEEZ
@TjoVtjoBeing angry is one thing. Leaving is stupid. What good will it serve in the long run? By your own admittance you have been married long. These things happen. Don't be such a child. You don't throw away your car the first time it has a puncture do you? Why? Because a new one is an expence you don't want to deal with. Stay put, and get over yourself.
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That is absolutely unacceptable; how many times must a woman sleep with a men (who is HIV positive) to contract HIV aids? When you answer that question intelligently and not emotionally you would see why this woman needs to run as far as possible from this cheat.
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JajazQueen
You cannot divorce a man cause he cheated, the majority of men do. The only reason for a divorce should be if you cannot stand being in the same space with him or if he is harming you. I think you are spoilt, always getting what you want when you want it. You want complete happiness, no one is completely happy in life, we all try to manage with what we have. So you have this cheating man who loves you and has given you the best life, sit down and try to manage the cards dealt to you.Report Abuse
truthhurt
Men cheat get over it!Report Abuse
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