My husband had an affair and I want to divorce him
I am a married woman with two adult children, have never worked and thought my life was perfect.
My husband was always in business and we have had a good standard of living. The children attended good schools, went on to university and left home after they qualified.
My husband and I have our own as well as common friends, whom we socialise with quite regularly.
I recently found out that he has had an affair with one of our friends.
I am totally devastated because I always believed that we were happy. My husband has never given me any reason to believe he was unhappy with me and has always treated me with respect and love.
I also feel terrible because I believe that everyone but I knew about the affair. I am angry with our friends because they never said a thing though they must have known. When I asked them, they all denied knowing anything.
My husband did not deny the affair because I caught him and his lover kissing at a party. He has apologised, has said that he never meant to hurt me, that it "just happened" and that he will never leave me. He begged me not to divorce him.
I don't believe him and I want to leave him because I don't think I will ever trust him again. - Devastated, Sandton
I am very sorry that you have been hurt so badly. I can understand your pain and the fact that you want to leave your husband. It is a perfectly normal reaction.
But I would caution you not to make any decisions until you have given the matter some time and thought.
Your husband has apologised and he does not want a divorce. If he really loved the other woman he would not have said this.
Give your friends the benefit of the doubt because they might not have known what was going on. You are angry and it is normal to want to lash out at them, but if they are true friends one of them would have said something.
Perhaps you and your husband should go to a marriage counsellor to help you through this difficult time.
Whatever you do, do not make any rash decisions.