'You need to let your sister find her own way in life'
"She might make mistakes and she might be hurt, but she needs to live her own life"
MY SISTER and I have always been very close. There is only a year's age difference between us.
I have been married for three years and she was engaged for two years.
Unfortunately her fiancé died in a car accident. She was devastated and I was there to support her whenever she needed me.
Her fiancé was such a wonderful person and they loved each other so much. Of course she was devastated and it has taken a long time for her to start feeling strong and positive about life again.
Six months ago she met a man and has been seeing him since. He is just so wrong for her. I hardly see her anymore because she is always with him.
He seems to be very jealous and apparently does not want to meet any of the family yet.
I have told my sister that this makes me feel uncomfortable and I don't understand why he is behaving like this. She said he was shy and wanted to first see where the relationship went before meeting us.
I think he has something to hide and he is trying to keep her to himself. I hate not having my sister and my best friend in my life.
What should I do? - Sad Sister, Johannesburg
DEAR DUDU WRITES:
I am sorry to hear that your sister has experienced such trauma in her life and I can understand why you want to protect her.
As hard as it will be for you, you need to let your sister find her own way in life.
She needs to know how much you love her and that you will always be there for her.
It is only natural that after you have seen your sister suffer so unbearably that you want to protect her but you can't. She is a grown woman and has to make her own choices.
She might make mistakes and she might be hurt but she cannot live in a state of fear. She needs to live her own life. Perhaps her boyfriend is being cautious and will meet the family in his own time.
There is nothing wrong with that and it certainly doesn't mean that he has anything to hide. Phone your sister regularly and try to see her when you can but don't get involved in her personal life.