Angry ex wants me back, but I'm not too sure
I AM 22 years old and my ex-boyfriend and I had been together for about eight months when our relationship tumbled..
I AM 22 years old and my ex-boyfriend and I had been together for about eight months when our relationship tumbled.
I got drunk at a party and had sex with another man. My boyfriend found out and went mad. I tried to explain that I did not know what I was doing, but he wouldn't listen to me.
I honestly don't blame him. What I did was unforgivable and if I were in his shoes I would have reacted the same way.
He said he never wanted to see me again and would never forgive me.
Four months later I started seeing another man who is a very nice person. I don't know if our friendship will develop into a romantic relationship, but right now, I am enjoying his company.
We went to a club a few weeks ago and my ex-boyfriend was there. He spoke to me and said he still loved me and would really like us to see each other again.
But he was very rude about the man I was with and made it very uncomfortable for us.
I don't know what to do because I know my ex-boyfriend. He bears grudges and is not one to forgive.
I have the feeling that he will always throw what happened in my face. I obviously still have strong feelings for him, but I am so unsure what to do.
Please give me some guidance. - Mixed feelings, Daveyton
DEAR DUDU SAYS:
I am sure you still have feelings for your ex-boyfriend, but you are expressing serious doubts about his character and the way he will behave if you do get back together again.
To be fair, it would take him a long time to trust you again and you would have to be very patient.
He also might never trust you again, which would be very frustrating for you and not a good foundation for your relationship going forward.
If you are considering going back to him the two of you have to have an honest discussion.
You have to express your concerns and he needs to decide whether he can really get over your indiscretion.
If he is the sort of person who bears a grudge it might be very difficult for you to be with him.
You also need to understand that you have cheated on him and he must have been deeply hurt.
You have to ask him whether he can honestly get over this.
He also needs to know that his behaviour at the club was not acceptable. If he has something to say, he must speak to you and not behave in such a manner.
If you decide to go back to him I hope both of you have the maturity to sort this situation out.
You must also consider that you are still very young and perhaps it would be easier for you not to get back together with your ex-boyfriend.
At your age you need to be very careful with your life and the choices you make to take better care of yourself in the future.