• Tweet

 You must talk to your mother - You need her support - You are not worthless because you made a mistake 

RELATED ARTICLES

• He lied, forced me to abort, then dumped me
• He insists I have an abortion, but I don't want to
• Boyfriend has become controlling and he hit me
• How to dump a psycho
• Abusive, but so wily
• What's love got to do with it?
• 'I don't'- A movement to end women abuse
• Are you man enough?
• I am devastated by my husband's love affair
• Say no to sex & yes to finishing school!
• Maybe he is not the one for you
• An assault on body and soul
• Rebecca Malope speaks about her love
• Film exposes women abuse
• Uyanda claims her husband abused her
• My fiance had an affair and baby
• Sad because my boyfriend did not support my pregnancy
• She makes excuses not to have a child
• I should be so happy, but I'm feeling very low
• Men more likely to give marriage a second chance
• The five year itch in marriage
• Some startling trends of marriages and divorces
• Don't marry in church or else...

MY BOYFRIEND and I have been together for a year. I am 24 and he is 29.

Though we sometimes fight, we are very happy together for the most part. I am in my last year at university and he has a good job.

I have been on the pill for four years and he is aware of this. He has seen me taking the pill.

I have found out that I am pregnant. I cannot tell you how shocked I was.

I am sure I haven't forgotten to take the pill at any time. I was so scared, I didn't know what to do or who to turn to.

Eventually I decided to tell my boyfriend. I did not expect the reaction I got.

He lost his temper. He said I had planned to become pregnant and that I had tricked him and lied.

He said I was a gold digger and all I wanted was his money. When I tried to defend myself he hit me across the face. He hit me so hard that I had the marks of his fingers.

He said I had to abort the child and that if I had it then I would be on my own. He also said for all he knew this could be any man's child.

I could not believe he would say such cruel things to me and it broke my heart. I don't want to have an abortion because I am just starting off my life and I don't think I could live with myself.

I haven't seen him since and this happened two months ago.

I spoke to him on the phone and he said he didn't want to see or speak to me until I told him I have had the abortion. I was almost tempted to say that I would give him what he wanted.

I feel so confused. Now I have to find the courage to tell my parents. Hopefully they will not be too cross with me. I don't know how this happened and I feel so worthless.

How could I have messed up my life so badly?

I feel so alone. - Dejected, Florida

ADVICE FROM DEAR DUDU

I am sorry that you have been treated so badly.

No one can force you to have an abortion. If you decided to do it just to please him you might in time regret it and resent him forever.

It is your body and no one can dictate to you what you should do.

No matter what you decide, the next step you need to take is to tell your mother.

She will probably be angry and disappointed but hopefully in time she will accept the pregnancy. You cannot cope with this on your own and you will certainly need her support.

You haven't messed up your life. You have made a mistake. Yes, it will be different if you keep the baby but you will manage and you will get through this.

Though you feel so alone you are probably better off without this man in your life. He has abused you mentally, emotionally and physically and in your situation this is unforgivable.

You are not worthless because you made a mistake. Your boyfriend has made you feel this way. He is a coward who cannot stand up to his responsibility.

He is as responsible as you for the pregnancy. But if you are still unsure about your decision, speak to a counseller at university, church or at a hospital.

Comments

• Sign in or sign up to comment

Sat May 25 13:52:23 SAST 2013 ::

Mar 2, 2012

SeshegoGuY

@Sowetan

Where do u find these stories?????

and its always on a friday..ag sies man!
Report Abuse

Mar 2, 2012

phathaphatha

eish this guy
Report Abuse

Mar 2, 2012

NotAgain

This guy is a serious coward, He knows very well that the child is his. Another child without a father, ag this is very Disappointing
Report Abuse

Mar 2, 2012

Korea

What do you mean sometimes fight??? If someone you are in a relationship with physically abuse you girl you must run and run for the hills girly. It clearly shows that you are in this because he has a good job and you are prepared to take his nonsense because of that. He has seen through you that you are a gold digger that's why he is telling you now. Maybe your behaviour during the relationship was that of a gold digger.

Tsamaya o mo tshwarisa maintenance that's the only option. Your relationship is toxic and you need to get out asap. Fetsa sekolo o bereke ngwanyana and o tlogele go choosa boyfriend bcos o nale a nice job looking for fr.ee lunch and drinks. Ke serope mperekele ntho eo mosetsanyana.
Report Abuse

Mar 2, 2012

maneater

a person wh is on her last year at Varsity knows or at least should know the avenues available to her. first go and open a case of assault against this guy and ensure that her pays for the mainatinace of the child. on thing that is least likely to help is to write to Sowetan.
Report Abuse

Mar 2, 2012

tomcat101

@all...dumelang.

wats new, why didnt u leave him when he called u a gold digger the 1st time?
im pretty sure u saw this comming coz u could have packed an left and continued with your life, i mean u went to vasity for Piets's sake u got brains, why not use them instead of opening your legs for no reason?

now another kid is born with out a father and gues whose pockets thats gonna cost?
us tax payers once again....blacksam.
Report Abuse

Mar 2, 2012

Mxcm!!

@SeshegoGuy

Fridays are "Dear Dudu" day sweets...you should know by now!!!


@Dejected in Florida
What happened to the usage of condoms sisi??? Hmmm? But that's crying over spilt milk. Lets focus on the problem at hand.

Having a baby is not the end of the world..it's a blessing - you going to have a beautiful boy or girl within the next six to seven months; and that child is going to need you to be strong!! So how about getting over the "self pity party" and strengthening your backbone and start being positive about the situation!

And as for the loser...people show their true colors when the "going gets tough" - at least you found out now rather than later!!
Report Abuse

Mar 2, 2012

Mmarena

Sesi children are a gift from God. like Dudu said u made a mistake and we all do. there is always a way out of this. time will heal and you be whole again. pick up the pieces and move on with ur life cherish every moment the baby is growing inside you. beliv me you will neva regret it. God bles you n keep that adorable one inside you
Report Abuse

Mar 2, 2012

tomcat101

@Maneater....good point u have!

@NotAgain......an how sure areu that the child is his?


Report Abuse

Mar 2, 2012

Candyboy

Whatever..........Sisi Dudu and her Friday made up stories as usual.....500 comments anyone....?

Morning ya'll
Report Abuse

Read all 456 comments