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Young girlfriend not ready to settle

By Dear Dudu | Feb 17, 2012 | COMMENTS [ 437 ]

I am a 30-year-old man and my girlfriend is 20. We have been together for a year..

Though I am a lot older than she is, we are very happy together.

I want to spend the rest of my life with her and I think she feels the same. I have no children and I am desperate for us to have a child.

The problem is my girlfriend is studying and says she will only consider this once she has completed her studies.

I am not getting any younger and I am ready to settle down.

I have told her that if she has a baby I will ensure that a childminder is employed to look after the baby and she will not have anything to worry about. She refuses though.

I don't want to leave her because I love her so much but I don't know how to resolve this.

Have you got any suggestions? Should I leave her? - Confused, Johannesburg

DEAR DUDU OFFERS THIS ADVICE

I can understand you feel you are getting older and need to settle down.

But you cannot force your girlfriend to have a child.

She is much younger than you and obviously has goals in life that she wants to reach before she has children. If you managed to convince her to have a child she would probably end up resenting you and your relationship would probably end.

If you love her you will give her the time she needs to complete her studies and not put pressure on her to do anything she is uncomfortable with.

You will always have to bear in mind that she is much younger than you, and in certain areas of your lives this could be a challenge.

Having children is a big responsibility and, believe me, will take over your girlfriend's life even if you have a childminder.

It is not an easy job that you just hand over to someone else.

You must prepare yourself for the fact that if you love her and want to build a future with her, you might only have children in a few years' time.

COMMENTS [ 437 ]

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@RYE
Ramatlhale

Oh sorry i didn't understand, then you are welcome to teach me matlhale. kikikikikikikikikikiki
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Ok you name the place i'll bring bucket ya di-ice (for drinks) and some baby oil (to rub on your neck & shoulders) it's going to be a very long session!!!!!!!kikikiki Trust me my intention is to merely spread the wisdom!!!!!!

Feb 17, 2012 12:40 | 0 replies

@Motabolapasa

Wena monna hobaneng o tabola pasa mosimammao ting.

Feb 17, 2012 12:58 | 0 replies

ke bua le wena o tsmayang o kare o jaeva twalatsa.

Feb 17, 2012 12:58 | 0 replies

@Molamu
Lona banna le leketlisetse marete mona le ya hlodiya. Kgidik!
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Hey wena mosono wa pere, why o re roga?

Feb 17, 2012 12:59 | 0 replies

@nevus

Twalatsa ke nkgonao

Feb 17, 2012 12:59 | 0 replies

@RYE
tjo nna wee, okare wa bona gore ke batla massage.lol
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I can offer a full body one, but if you don't trust me i'll even do it blindfolded the only thing which will be rubbing against your tender skin will be my strong yet gentle black hands......promise!!! now the place mani wena.......

Feb 17, 2012 1:1 | 0 replies

@Bumbuklap

Mosonammao hee. One o ratile ho etsang?

Feb 17, 2012 1:1 | 0 replies

Hahahahahaha ja neh ke gore a go sa roganwe hiso a se tsona kikikikikikikiki

Feb 17, 2012 1:1 | 0 replies

@Katadipere

ntate ako thuse mona, ke lena leja pip!p mona lea re rohaka!

Feb 17, 2012 1:1 | 0 replies

@maesi

O qabolwa keng wena ngwana lenyekathipa

Feb 17, 2012 1:2 | 0 replies

@Molamu
@Bumbuklap

Mosonammao hee. One o ratile ho etsang?
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ne ke nyako oja matanyola plus ke kgale kesa je marago. mara ke nagana ka mokgomong, a gao a lekana le a pere a tshosa!

Feb 17, 2012 1:3 | 0 replies