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 I am desperate for us to have a child. The problem is my girlfriend says she will only consider this once she has completed her studies. Should I leave her? 

Though I am a lot older than she is, we are very happy together.

I want to spend the rest of my life with her and I think she feels the same. I have no children and I am desperate for us to have a child.

The problem is my girlfriend is studying and says she will only consider this once she has completed her studies.

I am not getting any younger and I am ready to settle down.

I have told her that if she has a baby I will ensure that a childminder is employed to look after the baby and she will not have anything to worry about. She refuses though.

I don't want to leave her because I love her so much but I don't know how to resolve this.

Have you got any suggestions? Should I leave her? - Confused, Johannesburg

DEAR DUDU OFFERS THIS ADVICE

I can understand you feel you are getting older and need to settle down.

But you cannot force your girlfriend to have a child.

She is much younger than you and obviously has goals in life that she wants to reach before she has children. If you managed to convince her to have a child she would probably end up resenting you and your relationship would probably end.

If you love her you will give her the time she needs to complete her studies and not put pressure on her to do anything she is uncomfortable with.

You will always have to bear in mind that she is much younger than you, and in certain areas of your lives this could be a challenge.

Having children is a big responsibility and, believe me, will take over your girlfriend's life even if you have a childminder.

It is not an easy job that you just hand over to someone else.

You must prepare yourself for the fact that if you love her and want to build a future with her, you might only have children in a few years' time.

Comments

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Thu May 23 06:48:31 SAST 2013 ::

Feb 17, 2012

MommaC

Why hasn't your girlfriend kicked you to the curb yet?
She sounds far too intelligent to be hooked up with a dumbass. A child isn't a part time activity and her future comes first.
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Feb 17, 2012

maneater

this girl is too intelligent for you, you do not deserve her. so do the right thing and let her be. i know there are a lot of floozies who might jump to take you up on the offer!!!
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Feb 17, 2012

SeshegoGuY

U r a disgrace to all the Men out there, behaving like a 16 year old selfish twit
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Feb 17, 2012

sakhomba

cut the kid some slack wena oupapa. let her get educated first before you pin her down with kids.
go hussle Jozi in the mean time,ok?
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Feb 17, 2012

hlakolr

Mxa , u are the one who nids to be dumped , being a student and mom is not a child's play ,its not abt having a child minder , she still has to carry the child while studying. Some guys are dumb, they think women are baby making machines, marry her first , then the child shall follow only when she is ready.
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Feb 17, 2012

RaRaga

Go make a child outside then she will know u where not playing
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Feb 17, 2012

RobinH

Are you insane to require her to have a child whilst studying? You siumply want to hobble her and force her into a situation of dependancy, you chauvinistic jerk. If the lady has any sense she will leave you in the dust.
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Feb 17, 2012

lindsay

yes leave infact run as fast as you can mo ro n, what about marriage the only thing you are thinking about is you and your needs , me me me me nxa idiot, how does she know you won't dump her after she had a baby?
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Feb 17, 2012

Memme

If you really love her like you say you do you'll wait for her until she is matured enough to have your kids. Shame i do understand the pressure you must be getting from family and friends because you are older now but that does not mean a thing. Rather wait for the right moment to have that bundle of joy than rushing her - when you keep on pushing her you'll loose her and im sure you don't want that.


So be there for her now and supoprt her in every way - if it's meant to be it will be.
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Feb 17, 2012

MATWEETWEE

As she is too young from you bear in mind that she can archieve from her studies and get a better job.
Do you think she would still need a chid with an old man whose 10 years older than her.kik her out man

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