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I had sex with my sister's lover and now I want to kill myself

By Dear Dudu | 2012-01-20 06:19:51.0

I HAVE done something really stupid that could ruin my life. My sister, who is older than me, has been with her boyfriend for a year. They are talking about getting married.

I love her with all my heart and we have been through so much together. The last thing I would ever do is hurt her intentionally.

Over the festive season, we all went to a party together with other friends. I got very drunk and ended up having sex with my sister's boyfriend.

Since then my world has come crashing down. He is demanding that I continue having sex with him or he will tell my sister.

I am so ashamed of myself and so scared. I cannot sleep or eat. I cannot tell my sister because she will never speak to me again and neither will the rest of my family and our friends. Everyone will be so disappointed with me.

I feel that the only solution is to kill myself because if I tell the truth I will lose everyone I love. My life will not be worth living.

What do you think I should do? Full of remorse, Tshwane

Dudu responds:

This is a very difficult situation and unfortunately you don't have many options on how you deal with this.

Your first option is to tell your sister what has happened and face the consequences. Hopefully, she will understand that her boyfriend is as guilty as you. She will, of course, be extremely angry with you and certainly family and friends will not be impressed if they find out.

In this case you must tell her the truth and stand by it.

There is also the possibility that her boyfriend might lie about what happened and say that you approached him.

However, this should give her the chance to re-evaluate her relationship with this man.

Don't expect her to forgive you immediately. It will take time for her to recover from the betrayal of two people she loved.

Your other option is to keep silent about your indiscretion and hope that she never finds out.

This could be extremely stressful, particularly if he is harassing you. If you take this route, then there is the risk that she could find out in the future.

If this man continues to harass you, tell him that you will get a restraining order against him from the police.

There is no easy way out of this unfortunately and suicide will not solve anything.

Your family will hopefully recover from this incident, but they would never recover if you killed yourself.

I am sure you have learnt lessons from this and will not be prone to such risky behavior in the future. Good luck.