I had sex with my sister's lover and now I want to kill myself
I HAVE done something really stupid that could ruin my life. My sister, who is older than me, has been with her boyfriend for a year. They are talking about getting married.
Since then my world has come crashing down. He is demanding that I continue having sex with him or he will tell my sister
I love her with all my heart and we have been through so much together. The last thing I would ever do is hurt her intentionally.
Over the festive season, we all went to a party together with other friends. I got very drunk and ended up having sex with my sister's boyfriend.
Since then my world has come crashing down. He is demanding that I continue having sex with him or he will tell my sister.
I am so ashamed of myself and so scared. I cannot sleep or eat. I cannot tell my sister because she will never speak to me again and neither will the rest of my family and our friends. Everyone will be so disappointed with me.
I feel that the only solution is to kill myself because if I tell the truth I will lose everyone I love. My life will not be worth living.
What do you think I should do? Full of remorse, Tshwane
Dudu responds:
This is a very difficult situation and unfortunately you don't have many options on how you deal with this.
Your first option is to tell your sister what has happened and face the consequences. Hopefully, she will understand that her boyfriend is as guilty as you. She will, of course, be extremely angry with you and certainly family and friends will not be impressed if they find out.
In this case you must tell her the truth and stand by it.
There is also the possibility that her boyfriend might lie about what happened and say that you approached him.
However, this should give her the chance to re-evaluate her relationship with this man.
Don't expect her to forgive you immediately. It will take time for her to recover from the betrayal of two people she loved.
Your other option is to keep silent about your indiscretion and hope that she never finds out.
This could be extremely stressful, particularly if he is harassing you. If you take this route, then there is the risk that she could find out in the future.
If this man continues to harass you, tell him that you will get a restraining order against him from the police.
There is no easy way out of this unfortunately and suicide will not solve anything.
Your family will hopefully recover from this incident, but they would never recover if you killed yourself.
I am sure you have learnt lessons from this and will not be prone to such risky behavior in the future. Good luck.
MRPRESIDENT11
That was akward.Moleko o ntshwa ka moleko.Go and screw againReport Abuse
maneater
if the sex was bad tell him to F&ck off and i promise you he will not tell your sister. but if the sex was good then you in trouble my sister you will not be able to keep your hands off him.Report Abuse
DRAMATIC
Those are some of lifes learning curve,believe you me me,killing yourself is not gonna solve anyithing,just get over it,it will all heal as time goes on,unless if he impregnanted you,thats gonna stuck in you.Report Abuse
pizozo
If wa ipolaya, you wont b doin urself or sista a favour. So why do it. You slept wit him you slept wit him, get over it n move. Make sure you dnt do it again.Was it good thou?
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Reyataz
Go ahead and do it girl!. Quite honestly, the world does not need scum like you.Report Abuse
In__co
What you need is to create a balance. If you keep silence, you get harrassed. If you tell, then you have to face the consequences of your betrayal. At this stage, you cannot reverse what has happened and likely no one has found out yet until you tell someone. The approach is, your need to have your sister's boyfriend to back-off yet keeping the secret. The truth of the matter is, your sister's boyfriend will never tell your sister about what happened between you. Tell him that if he doesn't stop your are going to tell your sister that he's making advances at you. It he doesn't listen, tell your sister that his boyfriend likes to discuss about relationships with you and you are not comfortable with that. To protect from hurting your sister, make it to be that he discusses relationships in general. (You will be lying, but that will be to prevent a situation full of hurt and hatred).Report Abuse
MommaC
Why do these kids always go all drama queen and threaten suicide at the slightest provocation? Is it cowardice or just pubescent hormonal dramatics?Tell the boy to back the hell up and if he wants to tell your sister to go ahead. Tell him you won't sleep with him again and that he is a lousy lay.
In other words 'grow a spine'.
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theOjay
first of all your sister's boyfriend is a clown, and I loudly say he is not the right man for your sister cos even if it wasn't you still it was gonna be somebody else, it seems like he's used to the 1 night stands you need to ask yourself how many panties did he pull down.You really need to tell your sister she's gonna be angry though but eventually she'll forgive you, she must also remember that it might be a blessing in disguise, my this was the only way that God had to reveal the clown. you need to pull yourself together and never consider killing yourself, there's life after this by the way do you have a boyfriend? why did you have to give yourself to your in-law, well you said you were were like drunk then slightly it assures the talk which says the woman drinks alcohol it doesn't go to the head but right straight to the waists and the panty keeps falling endlessly, and do not let the clown next to you and tell him never to treathen you again.
hold your head high and stop been a lose panty get well
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