We had sex. Now I want to teach him a lesson
A YEAR ago I met a 26-year-old man. I am 18.
I want to hurt him the same way he hurt me. Am I wrong to want to teach him a lesson for treating me so badly?
We were both a bit drunk at the time and we ended up having sex. I don't normally drink and I don't normally have sex with someone I have just met.
I really liked him and he seemed to like me. We exchanged cell numbers, but he never phoned me. After a while I found the courage to phone him. It sounded as if he did not know who I was, but we made arrangements to meet.
I waited for him for two hours and he never turned up. I have since found out that he is a lot older than he told me he was and is married with two children. I was so angry when I found out that I phoned him again. He shouted at me and called me names. He said he had no idea who I was and I must leave him alone.
To make matters worse I now have a serious discharge. I feel hurt and cannot believe I was treated like this. I want to tell his wife what he is up to and what sort of man he is.
I hate him with all my heart and I hate myself for being such a fool. I want to get back at him. I want to hurt him the same way he hurt me. Am I wrong to want to teach him a lesson for treating me so badly? Want revenge, Johannesburg
DUDU RESPONDS:
I CAN understand how hurt and upset you are, but what do you think you will achieve by exacting revenge from him? You are in no position to teach him any lessons.
You are partly to blame because you were also drunk and agreed to have sex with him. You are right, he probably does not remember who you are.
You need to take responsibility for what happened and learn from this experience. If you are going out and you are going to drink, make sure that you have people around you whom you can trust and who will look out for you.
Don't ever allow yourself to be in such a vulnerable and dangerous situation again. In all likelihood, you did not use protection and if this is the way this man behaves, you have put your health and wellbeing at risk. He is not worth another minute of your energy and emotions. He will learn his own lessons, believe me.
You need to go to a doctor for a checkup and have an HIV test. Make a new start and promise yourself that you will never allow yourself to be exploited again. Put this behind you and look forward to the future.
Onkarabile
Revenge for what he did not force or rape you, in fact you did this to yourself.Did you think a 26 year old is single, and you are this beautiful gal of his dreams....shame on you
Gals always say i;m not like this but we wont know so move on with ur life.
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JahNeh
Ulahlile and now you wanna blame somebody else. Take responsibility for you action and learn from that, else it will happen again. Men are opportunists walahla walimala.Report Abuse
crazyfenda
Okay now here is the question say you do get even with him will it undo what you guys did? hmmm....i dont think so VENGANCE my dear has no amount of satisfaction. the bruise will be there and its your task the put this thing behind your back and move on. i know its easier said than done but it gets better with time, and beside you guys liked each other so you had fun with each other so hey..let it go
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Nestum
Shame on u girl, u cant just opened yo legs 2 anyone. He got it n u got his thing. finish n klaarReport Abuse
VHOFIFI
Not to judge you but what where you thinking by sleeping with a man you had just met? He obviously didn't take you seriously enough, you were just a one night stand shag to him. What he did is normal for him as a man, you just had to control and restrain yourself. Please learn from this degrading experience, never to be repeated and move on with your life. You are still young.Report Abuse
SifisoHadebe
Instead of focusing on revengeful tactics that are just mean.Rather focus on tertiary-education related stuff at your age of eighteen.
Apply your mind and eventually you will reveal your inner African queen.
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NtateMosiche
Moleko towe wa serathana, stay away from the guy, u had fun...............woman always learn the hard wayReport Abuse
validation
how can you provide to somebody you dont even know, what if he is dead that person......... you were supposed to open the case on the 1st day, coz now is no longer a rapeReport Abuse