Ex threatens to expose my past
MY ex-boyfriend is 26 years old and I am 22. We were together for a long time and we broke up because I cheated on him. We loved each other, but since we broke up, I have realised that perhaps it was for the best. He was very bitter and angry with me, which I understand.
Picture taken from http://www.nicework.co.za/There was a time in my life when I was wild. I partied, took drugs and drank. I lied to my family and friends and was just a no good. Now he threatens to reveal my past
I hurt him badly and he did not deserve it. I had not heard from him for months and, out of the blue, he phoned me. He says that he has forgiven me and is still in love with me. He wants us to get back together.
I have moved on and I am in another relationship. I love the new guy and I think I have a future with him. I told my ex this and he was furious. He called me names and said he is going to tell my boyfriend about my past and the type of person I am.
He says he will tell my family and friends exactly what I got up to as well. He has also said he will kill himself. There was a time in my life when I was wild. I partied, took drugs and drank. I lied to my family and friends and was just a no good.
I did a lot and of which I am deeply ashamed. It took all my strength to change and I am now a different person. I am so scared that my ex will carry out his threats. There are certain things that I doubt my current boyfriend will accept and I would hate him to know about my past.
I feel so scared because I don't want to lose him. We are just starting our relationship and he is a very clean living person. I feel as if I am being forced back into a relationship with someone who really wasn't good for me. I feel trapped and I don't know what to do.
Please help me. Desperate, Joburg
DUDU RESPONDS:
The first thing you need to understand is that you are not responsible for the choices that your ex-boyfriend makes in his life.
He is old enough to look after himself. He must have been hurt when he found out that you cheated on him, which is understandable. He obviously has problems and is trying to manipulate you by threatening you. Nobody can force you to be in a relationship if it is not what you want.
You also cannot live in a state of fear for the rest of your life. Your friends and family must be able to see how much you have changed and those who truly love you will stand by your side no matter what.
I can understand your fear of your boyfriend finding out about your past, but for your relationship to work, you need to trust each other. Speak to him honestly and tell him about your ex-boyfriend.
If he decides that he wants to end your relationship, then you will have to accept it. Your heart will be broken, but it will heal.
You cannot carry on living in a state of fear because of what your ex might or might not do to you. You also cannot be coerced into a relationship with your ex. The fact that he threatens you like this should be a warning sign to you. Don't go back there. This will take courage, but it will be worth it if you are able to live your life without fear.
Kadafi
Tjo...i can imagine them BJs at an early age, t-bags, one-stands, three sums and a lot more. Now that's what i call the dark side of a woman. For a second on reading the subject; i thought it's a guy. seems guys ain't so bad as it all painted out. For what is worth girl, straighten up with your current beau now. whether or not he'll leave is out of your control. i can bet one day in his life-time he'll find out, and it may not be from your ex. truth has a funny way of coming out. Good luck.Report Abuse
KUKU
He called me names and said he is going to tell my boyfriend about my past and the type of person I am.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This shoudn't be an issue - u'r ex is trying to blackmail you.
Open up to your new lover and tell him everything - i am sure he will forgive you because he wasn't part of your liofe when u were a junkie...so u shouldn't stress.
How many gals have been prostitude before but they act as i they are virgins.
How many guys have been doing smash and grab (Vimba) but they've moved on now.
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Pabi
i think you have to tell the current boyfriend everything, by the time your ex-boyfriend comes to tell your boyfie he won't be shocked, hope for the best may be he wouldn't mind that much because he wasn't there and for the fact that u told him he will appreciate it.Report Abuse
tpaz
who doesn't have skeletons in the closet? keep your mouth shut, and tell your ex to go and tell the world and see who cares. We forgave Mbalula, so we will forgive you.Report Abuse
Vhamsanda
We all have an unpleasant past including your current boyfriend. Just tell your boyfriend about your past before that animal do so.Gudluck, desperate.
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Chillis
Does your ex have evidence of your past? If No, don't tell your current beau everything. Never tell a man everything!!#WhatIKnowForSure
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MsBlackberry
just ignore him, ur ex wa borega basadi ba tlese lefase le kamoka and he decides to run after scrap sa go tshwana le wenatell ur boyfie the truth he will forgive you if wa tlala ka wena
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spokowee
MsBlackberryjust ignore him, ur ex wa borega basadi ba tlese lefase le kamoka and he decides to run after scrap sa go tshwana le wena
tell ur boyfie the truth he will forgive you if wa tlala ka wena
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Scrap khwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakhwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa tltltltltltltl ROTC...... YOH so vroeg o mpolayelang mara.
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