I AM a 36-year-old woman, married for seven years and we have a child.

For the past five years, I have not been that happy in my marriage. My husband and I are comfortable together and that is all. There is no excitement anymore and I actually find him boring. We never really go out anymore or do things together.

I recently started a new job. I find one of the men I work with very attractive. We have been out together for lunch a few times and also went for drinks after work. I think I am falling in love with him. I cannot wait to see him every day.

The problem is that he is married with children. He has told me that he is happily married and sees me just as a friend. I am sure that if our relationship carries on the way it is, then he will begin to fall in love with me. He is such an amazing person and I dream about spending the rest of my life with him.

I feel like a young girl again. I just want us to be together.

What should I do? Dreamer, Benoni

Dudu offers this advice:

First of all, you are not in a relationship with this man. He is your work colleague. If you continue to pursue him, it could ruin your life.

It is never a good idea to get involved with people that you work with. It can result in one or both of you losing your jobs. He has said that he is happily married and I think you are misreading his signals. He is probably trying to make you feel comfortable in your new work environment.

If you carry on with this infatuation, you will lose your family and he might lose his. If you think this would result in the two of you being together, then you are wrong. He would probably hate you if you broke up his marriage.

Start concentrating on making your new job a success. Don't behave like this in your workplace because your colleagues will lose respect for you and will certainly gossip and laugh at you behind your back.

Put your energy in trying to fix what is wrong with your marriage, which is hard work and both partners need to constantly make an effort.

Talk to your husband honestly and together come up with ways to spend quality time together.

Try to rediscover what made you fall in love with each other. Also consider your child and how your behaviour will impact on his life. This might not be what you want to hear, but you need be sensible about this situation before you make mistakes that cannot be fixed.