MY GIRLFRIEND and I have been together for three years. She is 22 and I am 25.

The problem I have is that she is putting pressure on me to get married. I am just starting off in my career and I believe in planning life carefully.

She is employed and doing well in her job, but her dream is to be married and to have children. She says that this is all she has ever wanted.

This is also what I want, but not for the next few years. I am far more cautious in life.

I believe that we should plan carefully and set ourselves certain goals so that we don't, for instance, get ourselves into debt. She brought up the marriage issue again and we fought about it.

She has now broken up with me. I don't know what to do because I do love her. She does not even talk to me and says that we have discussed this enough.

Do I let her go and risk not meeting another woman as wonderful as her? In a quandary, Rustenburg

Dudu responds,

One thing for sure is that you should not be forced into marriage unless you feel completely sure that the time is right.

You are both very young and honestly I think you should be commended for wanting to plan your life carefully. Perhaps you should give her time to calm down before you speak to her again.

Explain to her the pitfalls of rushing into marriage without the proper foundation being laid.

If your girlfriend refuses to compromise on this, only then should you make the decision whether to pursue your relationship with her.

There are many wonderful woman out there and perhaps you should consider giving yourself the chance to meet someone who has the same goals as you do.

Don't be blackmailed by anyone to take such an important step in your life if you are not ready.