I AM a 19-year-old girl and I have been secretly in love with my brother's friend for a long time.

He is 25 years old. Many men are interested in me, but I always refuse because I am only interested in my brother's friend.

My brother has warned me not to go near him because he says that his friend is an alcoholic and he messes around with many women.

I know he drinks, but when he is sober he is such a gentleman and he always treats me with respect.

He comes from a very poor background. I think that with some direction in his life, he could become a very stable person.

My brother says his friend also messes around with many women, but I don't believe that.

I think my brother is just being overprotective and is treating me like a child. What do you think? Ready for love, Diepkloof

Dear Dudu replies,

I think you are far too young to be sitting around waiting for someone who sounds very unsuitable.

You are fortunate that your brother cares enough to look out for you.

Why would you want to get into such a complicated situation?

What makes you think you can give him direction? If he has an alcohol problem, you will not be able to help him. He will need professional help.

Do you really want to be with someone who has a reputation for womanising?

Relationships are difficult enough without having these added complications.

You need to be with a person who meets you on your level regarding ambitions, dreams and life values.

Do you really want to waste your time looking after another person?

It is very difficult being with someone you cannot trust and you certainly will not be able to trust a man with his reputation.

I am sure this is not what you want to hear, but you must be careful with the choices you make in life.