My daughter is 12 years old and her father left us when she was born.
She is a wonderful child and I am very proud of her.
A year ago, I fell in love with a man and we are expecting a baby.
Before I fell pregnant, my daughter got on very well with my partner.
Since she has found out that I am pregnant, we are having nothing but trouble with her. She has started behaving badly. We live in my partner's house. She has started slamming doors, sulking in her room and she will not even talk to us.
I have now received a letter from her class teacher asking me to see her. Apparently, my daughter is misbehaving at school and is not doing her work.
I cannot believe that this is the same child. I have tried talking to her and even punished her, but this did not help.
I understand that this is to do with the pregnancy, but I thought she would be happy about it.
What do I do now? - Troubled, Johannesburg
DUDU'S ADVICE:
I can understand how upsetting and frustrating this must be for you.
This should be a time for you all to be excited and happy, but she is spoiling it.
If you can try and look at the situation from your child's view, it might give you some idea of what she is going through.
For so many years it was just the two of you and she has been the centre of your world. You then bring in your partner and she accepts him because he probably treats her the same way you do. Now you are bringing someone new into the family and she probably feels frightened that you will no longer love her the same way and that she will be replaced by the new baby.
She thinks that after the baby is born, her life will never be the same.
Don't try and ignore her feelings with the hope that she will eventually calm down.
You and your partner have to sit her down and acknowledge her feelings. You need to tell her how important she is to the family and that this will never change.
Both of you must spend time with her to reassure her that your love for her will never change.
Get her involved with the preparation of the new addition to the family. With time and patience, she will start to feel secure once again.
My child has become a brat since I got pregnant
My daughter is 12 years old and her father left us when she was born.
She is a wonderful child and I am very proud of her.
A year ago, I fell in love with a man and we are expecting a baby.
Before I fell pregnant, my daughter got on very well with my partner.
Since she has found out that I am pregnant, we are having nothing but trouble with her. She has started behaving badly. We live in my partner's house. She has started slamming doors, sulking in her room and she will not even talk to us.
I have now received a letter from her class teacher asking me to see her. Apparently, my daughter is misbehaving at school and is not doing her work.
I cannot believe that this is the same child. I have tried talking to her and even punished her, but this did not help.
I understand that this is to do with the pregnancy, but I thought she would be happy about it.
What do I do now? - Troubled, Johannesburg
DUDU'S ADVICE:
I can understand how upsetting and frustrating this must be for you.
This should be a time for you all to be excited and happy, but she is spoiling it.
If you can try and look at the situation from your child's view, it might give you some idea of what she is going through.
For so many years it was just the two of you and she has been the centre of your world. You then bring in your partner and she accepts him because he probably treats her the same way you do. Now you are bringing someone new into the family and she probably feels frightened that you will no longer love her the same way and that she will be replaced by the new baby.
She thinks that after the baby is born, her life will never be the same.
Don't try and ignore her feelings with the hope that she will eventually calm down.
You and your partner have to sit her down and acknowledge her feelings. You need to tell her how important she is to the family and that this will never change.
Both of you must spend time with her to reassure her that your love for her will never change.
Get her involved with the preparation of the new addition to the family. With time and patience, she will start to feel secure once again.
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