I HAVE been married for two years. Recently, I had to go for an HIV test for insurance purposes.

The results showed that I was that I am HIV positive. I could not believe it so I went for another test, which confirmed that I am HIV positive.

I have never cheated on my husband so it can only be him who infected me.

I have been through so many emotions - from shock to anger.

I love my husband so much and I thought he felt the same about me. How could he do this to me? He has given me a death sentence. Our children will be left with no parents.

I honestly feel that I should kill myself. Then he can see what he is going to do. I haven't had the courage to speak to him and I don't know what to say because I am so angry.

There is no one that I can discuss this with. How do I tell people that I am HIV positive?

How could he do this, Dudu, how? Devastated, Pretoria

Dudu responds,

This must have been a terrible shock for you and your anger is understandable.

The first thing I want to impress on you is that this is not a death sentence.

The second thing is that people can be HIV positive for years without knowing it. If either of you were in relationships before you got married it could be either of you who contracted the disease.

If you love each other it is possible to get through this together.

As difficult as this is for you, you will have to tell him about the results.

If at all possible, the two of you should try and save your marriage. You need to go for counselling together.

With the correct medication and life style, you will both lead healthy lives.

The key is to educate yourselves about the disease.

Contact Aids Management and Support on 011-786-6492, Community Aids Response-Care on 011-728-0218, loveLife on 011-523-1000 or the Helen Joseph Hospital, which runs an excellent counselling service and clinic for HIV patients.