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It was love at first sight and we started meeting every day. He would take me to a hotel and we would end up making love.

He gave me money every day.

My friends told me that he was married and at first I thought they were just jealous. Eventually when I asked him, he said that he is, but is in the process of getting divorced.

I believed him because there were a couple of times when we spent the whole night together.

Now I have found out that I am pregnant. I have told him and he said there is no way that the child is his.

He said he has reconciled with his wife, whom he loves, and is no longer interested in me.

I am devastated and scared. I think I should either have an abortion or kill myself because I don't know how I will be able to tell my parents.

They have done everything for me and love me so much. Terrified, Johannesburg

Dudu says:

I can understand how anxious and frightened you are, but you have to speak to your parents.

Committing suicide is not the solution and is a final and very drastic step to take. If you are considering abortion, then you would have to make sure that you are fully informed on the risks and consequences involved.

Please don't consider an illegal abortion because this could prevent you from having children when you are older and could damage your health and wellbeing.

By now it is probably too late for you to have an abortion.

Your parents love you and they would be devastated if you hurt yourself in any way.

Of course they will be upset, but once they have got over the shock, they will hopefully offer you their support and advice.

The man you were involved in is legally obliged to maintain the child and if he doesn't, you will have to go to the maintenance court to ensure that he does.

Help is available and if you need someone to talk to, please contact Lifeline on 011-728-1347 or Birthright of Johannesburg on 011-403-1718.

Comments

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Sun May 26 01:46:06 SAST 2013 ::

Feb 11, 2011

Temptation

Suicide is never an answer to any problem, and i won't encourage you to have an abortion either, though it's your choice. Yes, you will heal physically in no time at all after the proccedure, but what about emotionally? you are going to carry that scar for the rest of your life. I say speak to your parents, if you are unable to, ask to a relative or a close family friend to be there with you when you tell your parents, i know it seems unbearable now, but it'll be okay, your parents love you and they will be there for you.

Please don't deny that precious being growing inside you a chance at life, my mum had me when she was 18 too, and I feel such joy when she tells me so often how i have been the best thing that has ever happened to her. And most importantly... pray. I don't know which religion you belong to, but connecting with the Spirit always put things in prospective.
GOOD LUCK
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Feb 11, 2011

Uhuu

Kill yourself Nana, this is what happens when you sleep with a man old enough to be your father. It serves you right. Spending nights at the hotel at your age with a married man? sies maan phuu. Wa go laya.
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Feb 11, 2011

malcomx

This is why i prayed day and night for my fiancee to give birth to a baby boy, i dont know what i would have done if it was a girl.
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Feb 11, 2011

TheGeneral86

Dear 18 year old girl, your biggest mistake was to sleep with the man u hardly know without protection. So now think about your situation and come up with solution not something stupid like suicide . I wish i were the one who put bun in the oven lol
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Feb 11, 2011

Mosquer

Ai jwale rena o re botsa gore re direng? Wa phapha, wa pora, you became a complete fool, and you have no backbone.
Why do women believe men when they say they love them and in process of devorcing their wives? I find their stupid, if he is a devorcer don't you think you gonna be a victim as well?
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Feb 11, 2011

Chillis

@Temptation - Hope this girl will take your advice to heart.
@Uhuu - Yoh, Yoh, Yoh... That was my first instict when I read this, but after reading Temptations' advise... I know that we all deserve a second chance in life!
@Terrified, Johannesburg - Hmmm take it easy...
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Feb 11, 2011

sarmologadi

Eish bana ba mara, when are they going to learn gore this old men are just usin them to relive stress sa ko ntlong! Please gal face up to ur actions and tell ur parents, suicide has never been a solution and it will never be. I was preganant when i was 17 but luckily i was in tertiary and it was with a guy of my age and i had to face my parents. It was tough but had to do it. So do it gal and leave with the consequences!
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Feb 11, 2011

Convertable

It serves u rite! How do u sleep with someone old enough to be Ur father? On top of that without protection? Your love for money put u in this situation girl. How stupid are u thinking this guy would leave his wife for U???
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Feb 11, 2011

Bosele

young and stupid.Women should learn that men will never leave their wifes because of nyatsi.you are only a tool to satisfy a specific purpose .men will give you all the attention in the beginning because you are the new toy.contract ya nyatsi is very short and should not expect it to be renewed.if he loves you,why doesnt he take you to his house,why hotels?suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem....if you are considering it then you are really stupid.
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Feb 11, 2011

mbondozi

She's 18yrs she knew the results of sleeping without a condom, she has to live with it. If she opt to kill herself than it's her life not our business. The choice is hers.
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