My husband cheated and I want to divorce him
AFTER 10 years of marriage, I found out my husband was cheating. It came as a complete shock because we were always so happy together
We fought terribly about this.
As much as he has apologised and promised that it will never happen again, I can’ t forgive him, speak to him or even look at him, even though I still love him.
This has been going on for three months and I think the only way to solve it is to get divorced.
I told him and unfortunately my one son heard it. Both my sons are traumatised.
I feel as if my life is out of control and I don’t know which way to turn. Please help me. - Desperately Unhappy Wife, Orlando
DUDU WRITES:
I am sure you are extremely hurt and angry and you have every right to be.
You say that you still love your husband and for this very reason you should consider sorting your marriage out.
Cheating does such damage in a marriage that often people feel that it is the end, but it is possible to recover and rebuild your marriage. It will take time and patience.
Consider going together for counselling.
If you do decide to divorce, then your children must be your main concern.
They will need constant reassurance that they will still have both parents in their lives who love them and that they will always have access to both parents. They also need to be told that this is not their fault at all.
Divorce means a huge change for all of you and you need to minimise this for the children by not changing schools or home if possible. Don’t fight in front of them and don’ t talk badly about each other to them.
They might feel very insecure, angry and anxious. Keep a careful eye on them. Consider discussing this with their teachers so they can be supportive.
Never use the children as weapons against each other. They are innocent and must be protected.
Divorce is extremely painful so be sure that you are making the right decision.
Sweedo
Divorce is not only painful, it's also expensive. You both need counselling. Choosing not to talk to your husband will evetually lead you to deppresion and you will be hospitalised. He will have to take care of your children on his own with guilty conscious. Break that ice and talk to him. People who are divorced dont have happy lives and they pretend to be happy. Believe me I have seen a few.Report Abuse
Mwelase
To hosetly advise you please put aside what you have experienced and dont ever force him into decision, you are thinking of a wrong step. Guess what? seperation in court will harm the rest of your life however you need to adress thy unsatisfactory in bed i think somewhere the guy is loosing it from you.Report Abuse
ngamla
honestly mam i dont think its a wise decision 4 u to divorce.....its just a careless mi'take here mam,so respect ur self and ur children sit down and talk onething for sure the guy still love u.with a respect mam
go back to ur man.
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tpaz
Leave the man with kids and start a new life. Life is too short. Once a cheat always a cheat.Report Abuse
Katrur
Believe wht the guys are saying cos starting to know someone its a huge step. Let me tell u 99% of men are cheating only one dont cheat and he is the one whose busy counting other. Some men cheat mentally or physically with other partner. Believe me or not, stay with yo man and have a serious chat with him.Report Abuse
Brownskin12
Only you know what is in your heart, what I would suggest is that you give it a chance and think it through and dont rush in anything yet. It is true that men cheat but it should never be said to belittle the hurt the woman goes through when they find out about their partners cheating on them. Men donot show emotions so just try and talk it through with him,, I wish you all the best.Report Abuse
Mayo
Men will always cheat, no matter how beautiful, educated or well mannered you are. Make peace with the fact that ur husband has cheated on you and move on. You leave him, you meet another devil who will ill treat u and ur sons. No man is perfect, give him a chance and it's not like he doesn't love, he wanted to taste sumthing diff. If u divorce him, others will open their arms and take him.Report Abuse
Rhythmatic
what makes you think your life will be much better with another man after divorce? the unfortunate truth is that all men cheat, this is not justification for his actions, but waht i'm trying to say is that the next man might be worse, remeber you will also have to enter a new relationship, not just alone, but with your children. it's much easier to disregard a relationship when children are not involved, plus you said it yourself you still love the man and that he has apologise. give it another chance, it'll take a long time but things may get better if you tryReport Abuse
Khumalo
Its true that most men will cheat when opportunity presents itself, and if you live him where are you gonna go?, you are getting old and finding a new clean man could prove hard or impossible, try to talk to your man.rather stay with the devil you know than to find a new one.
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