Mon May 21 17:37:17 SAST 2012
Mon May 21 17:37:17 SAST 2012

Long-distance relationship is putting strain on us

Jul 23, 2010 | Dear Dudu | 4 comments

I HAVE been in a relationship with a  woman for a  year. During this time, the company she works for transferred  her to Cape Town

 You need to find out whether you share the same goals in life 

We speak every day on the phone  and try to see each  other at least once a  month.

This is not always possible though.

She has been away for four months  now and I think both  of us are feeling  the strain of a long-distance  relationship. Most of the time when we talk on  the  phone, we fight.

As soon as we see each other everything is great. We  really love each  other, but I am starting to wonder if  this  relationship will work .

She is an ambitious woman and there  is no chance of  her transferring back to  Johannesburg any time soon. I  am  doing very well in my career so I cannot move to  Cape Town.

I feel desperate because I love her so  much, but I don’t  know how to make  this work. - Torn, Johannesburg

DUDU WRITES:

Long-distance relationships are never easy.

When you are  together you must discuss the problems   both of you are facing.  Firstly, you have to  establish  whether you  do see a future  together. If this was to  happen, where  would you live and how would this affect   your lives. You need to find out whether  you share the  same goals in life.

If you decide that you want to try and  make it work, then  you have to find ways  of communicating in a more  positive way.

Tell each other how you feel when you  argue and  together find  ways to avoid doing this.  This will give you  a  chance to learn about  each other and whether  you  both are able to  solve challenges  together.

There is no doubt that  if you continue fighting,  your  relationship will  end. If it does, then not  everything is  lost.

Both of you will have learnt valuable  life lessons and  also what you need in a  relationship.

 

Comments

Mon May 21 17:37:17 SAST 2012 ::
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Aug 13, 2010

Brownskin12

Get a life, Cape Town!! Men I know of long distance relationships that survived and I am talking SA v England!! You are such a baby!! Grow up and support your partner how do you think she feels about this,,
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Oct 5, 2010

Sweedo

@Brownskin12.... knowing about other people is not enough until you are involved.

A lot of people are in long distance relationship and boy oh boy they cheat
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Oct 6, 2010

NTWANA37

By the time she or he is away, find someone to make you happy and when they return pretend as if nothing happened. Most of the people in a long-distance are cheating. When they meet again one has changed his or her attitude they are no longer the same person you knew. Sometimes they bring along new girlfriend or boyfriend and then the ralationship is over. So why wait? its a waste of space.
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Dec 30, 2010

wakb

afternoon yol.

i myself, am in a long disstance relationship, and am enjoying every beat of it, yeah man it is hard at times but i dont put my mind in to that a lot. i see my man once a month sometimes after three months cos of work, which is frustrating at times nut am always on the pone with him. when we are together we create memories for the time that we were away from each other. cheating is not an option, you will lose something over nothing. "akukho okufihliwe okungena kuvela" keep that in mind at all times. its nice really. my brother, please dont give up now, fights are always there even close people fight, its not a new thing kuma long distance relationship. you just have to talk about it. like my man he knows that i get angry when he raises his voice on me, so he doesnt do it often even when he is mad he wont do it because he knows i will get angry times 2 of his anger.

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